


May The Best Man Win

by ZephyrusZ



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: !Dark Shizuo, Basically novel characters in novel setting, Canon Compliant, F/M, Future novel spoilers, Izaya being in denial, M/M, Orihara Izaya vs Heiwajima Shizuo, Shinichi and Shizuo being sort of friends/accomplices, Shizuo being mastermind but not knowing it, Tsukumoya just 'cause, potential season 2 spoilers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 10:18:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2464691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrusZ/pseuds/ZephyrusZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The human heart is such a fragile thing...isn't it, Izaya?"</p><p>There's a new mastermind in Ikebukuro, and the information broker has found his match. Shizuo is missing, Shinichi is amused, and Izaya's heart is breaking.</p><p>- May the best man win, Orihara.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Love is without reason.

Love is blind.

Love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.

Love disregards all inequalities and differences in social status.

Inscrutable are the ways people are brought together…by love.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

In Ikebukuro, are two names everyone knows.

Orihara Izaya.

And Heiwajima Shizuo.

The information broker and the man in a bartender suit.

The force that cannot be stopped, and the object that cannot be moved.

Usually, when we talk about force, we talk about a physical strength.

What if that force becomes mental?

What if it becomes a mental strength?

Will it be able to move the 'object'?

What do you think?

I know you know what I'm talking about.

You'd give me that look…if you were awake.

But you're not, so I can watch you like this.

 

Hey.

Tell me.

Is this enough?

If it's not, I can go even further.

You're always at someplace I can't reach.

I can't get you down.

So I have to go up.

Reach the same height as you.

And then bring you down.

Don't worry.

Once I bring you down –

I'll go down with you.

Back to the place I wanted you to be.

Right next to me.

Because I don't crave power and godly status like you do.

All I wanted was to be a normal human.

Live a normal, peaceful life.

But they call me a god, of destruction.

And perhaps they're right.

But there's also something wrong.

You see, being a god means you have control of your powers.

I don't.

But maybe I can.

Maybe it's what I'm meant to be.

A being of destruction.

And if that's what I'm meant to be

If that's the existence intended for me

I might as well make use of it.

I'll destroy you.

Mentally.

Because to break your heart, I have to break your mind.

That's right.

I'll be the God of Destruction, so I can stand on the same pedestal as you, so that you'll acknowledge me.

So that I can stop you, take you down, force you off your high horse.

And when you're broken, I'll be there.

It's lonely at the top, isn't it?

We both know that.

But at the top you have to compete, to maintain your position.

It's inevitable, so I'm prepared for that.

 

What's this?

Even in your sleep you're moving away from me.

Hey, that hurts my heart you know?

A-hhh...

But it's alright.

Because I'll be breaking yours.

 

...Heh.

Don't be afraid.

I'll take full responsibility.

I'm taking away your position, because I want you to be rid of it, so that you'll fall –

And I'll fall with you.

Because a fall will never hurt me.

How many times have I fallen and broken my bones?

I can't remember.

But you get used to it after a while.

I've already fallen for you anyway.

So falling a second time won't matter.

A fall will never hurt me, but it will hurt you.

So that I can be ready at the bottom, to catch you.

Perhaps then –

You'll finally look at me.

You'll finally see me.

You'll finally –

Know my love for you.

 

 

There are many factions in Ikebukuro, and all of them hold power.

But if you were to ask a resident which are the most dangerous –

They're not factions, but men.

The two most dangerous men of Ikebukuro.

Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo.

Both of them are feared by most of Ikebukuro. And so both of them have power.

Though the reasons are different. Izaya is feared because he manipulates humans and built up a dangerous reputation as the information broker of Shinjuku. Shizuo is feared because of his monstrous strength and his uncontrollable temper.

Who is more powerful or dangerous – would be hard to say. Izaya beats Shizuo in mental strength, and Shizuo beats Izaya in physical strength.

It's a permanent stalemate between them, for Izaya hasn't pissed Shizuo off enough for him to kill him…yet. And Shizuo is indestructible, and all Izaya's methods to kill him have failed.

But one thing Shizuo has that Izaya doesn't –

Is his unpredictability.

That man is truly unpredictable.

Even I can't tell what he's thinking.

Oh, you know you would agree with me if you were awake, Orihara.

He does things no one expects, and now he's gone and fallen in love with the person everyone least expected.

And so he changes – he's changed. They do say love changes people after all.

And he changes before anyone knows.

You look at him and wonder, 'When did he change?' 'Why did he change'?

You even ask him, but it's no use.

Even he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't know why he changed, he just has.

So we can't understand him really.

Anyway, back to Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo.

As I said, there are many powerful factions in Ikebukuro. Dollars, Yellow Scarves, Slashers and Saika, Blue Squares, Awakusu-kai, Russian assassins, Headless Rider, Hollywood.

But all of them are residents of Ikebukuro, and all of them would agree if danger is the criteria, it would be Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo.

Especially Heiwajima Shizuo.

Oh Orihara Izaya is dangerous of course, he's the mastermind behind all the happenings, and he can manipulate even Heiwajima Shizuo….to a certain extent.

But Heiwajima Shizuo invokes fear in people because of his inhuman strength. Because who wouldn't fear a guy who could lift up a vending machine with one hand?

It's only common sense to.

Heiwajima Shizuo is dangerous because of his strength, and powerful because he stops fights (usually orchestrated by Orihara Izaya).

Your opponent isn't who you should worry about when that man in a bartender suit comes into the picture.

It's your life you should worry about.

So, technically speaking, Heiwajima Shizuo seems to have more power than Orihara Izaya….simply because he's more feared and a real threat.

The reason why the place hasn't turned into a warzone yet is because Heiwajima Shizuo, despite his overwhelming strength, wants only one thing –

Peace.

And the greatest obstruction to peace in Ikebukuro is Orihara Izaya. That's one of the reasons why Shizuo hated him.

But Shizuo is a peaceful man like his name suggests, so if Izaya doesn't disturb his peace, he won't do anything.

He won't involve himself in the chaos in Ikebukuro, even if he's the strongest man. Even if with just his presence, all the fighting will stop.

He doesn't care about things like that. As long as his life is peaceful, and the people he cares about are safe, he's content.

And the only one who dares to make Shizuo do anything he doesn't want to do, is Orihara Izaya.

But this time, it's not Izaya.

It's Shizuo.

Because Shizuo has finally found something he wants to do.

Shizuo has finally found something he wants.

It's true that Shizuo wants peace, and he still wants peace, but peace is an ideal, it isn't a goal. It's either there, or not there. It's a state of being.

It's fitting, actually. Ironically fitting.

The one who disrupts Shizuo's peace the most is Izaya, yet the one he fell in love with is Izaya.

Because to Shizuo, Izaya is the only one who can give him his peace.

At least that's what I think, I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong, since like I said, Heiwajima Shizuo is unpredictable. His thoughts are inscrutable.

That something Shizuo wants, besides peace, is love.

We talked, you know? Shizuo and I. While you were busy with your plans Orihara, letting your guard down because Heiwajima was by your side and you thought you didn't have to factor in his presence and unpredictability.

Shizuo has always wanted love. He's always wanted to fall in love like a normal person. He's always desired to love somebody. And he has. He has loved –

But they ended up being hurt. And so he stopped. He stopped thinking he could love. He was afraid of loving, of being in love.

Because he's afraid of hurting people.

And then you come along, barging into his life, slashing at his open heart, pissing him off, yet never getting hurt, never fearing him like everyone else.

Without even knowing, you became an exception to him.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate –

And it was you who crossed that line.

...Wait.

No...that isn't quite right.

Should I say, it was you who invited him to cross that line.

You're unconscious…so you can't lie as usual. So I'll just explain on your behalf.

Because you involved yourself in that incident concerning someone important to him.

Of course, you'd say, 'I was just messing with him' but to him, it let him see you in a new light.

There's a saying that life is meaningless without a light called 'love'.

I wonder if it applies to this case?

But I digress.

You gave him a reason to trust you…even if it was just that 1%.

Falling in love with someone is about trusting that person – that's what the humans Heiwajima Shizuo wants to be like, say.

And so he trusted, trusted you with his feelings, and eventually his heart.

His heart which felt at peace. Instead of taking away his peace, you gave it to him. By letting him fall in love with you, you who could never be hurt by him.

You rejected him of course, since you love only humans –

Even though he's the most human. You know so, but you deny it. I wonder why?

You broke his heart, so I'm not surprised he wants to break yours.

It's only fair, isn't it, Orihara?

You always did claim yourself to be a fair man.

But I suppose I should thank you –

On behalf of this city.

Because you broke Heiwajima Shizuo's heart, you gave him something he wants.

You see, if you had accepted him, if you had returned his love, you would have given him the peace he's wanted all his life, and he wouldn't have to aim for anything else.

Your purpose in messing with this city and controlling your humans is wanting to see their reactions, wanting to see them surpass your expectations.

If there's anyone who can stop you, it's Heiwajima Shizuo, and that's why he pisses you off, that's why you hate him.

That's why, I'm looking forward to this.

Because now you're not the only one with a purpose, a reason.

Heiwajima Shizuo, the strongest man in Ikebukuro, has finally found a reason to willingly involve himself in the affairs of this city.

And that reason is you.

He wants you. He loves you, and he will do anything to make you his.

Oh those aren't my words, they're his.

Bringing you down from the positon of the mastermind will bring peace to this city –

And peace to him.

He's killing two birds with one stone.

You really shouldn't underestimate him, Orihara.

After all, Heiwajima Shizuo has always caused chaos with the end goal of getting back his peace.

You of all people should know that very well.

Instead of being angry, shouldn't you be ecstatic?

Shouldn't you say –

My human has surpassed my expectations! This is why I love humans!

Shouldn't you?

Haha.

Well, you don't have to say it.

He'll show it to you, until you can't deny it anymore.

Thus, allow me to say on your behalf –

Let the game begin.

 

_\- Unpublished Observational Record by Tsukumoya Shinichi_


	2. Window Dressing (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a sequel to The Human Heart. Sort of, because it was supposed to be a oneshot anyway. But events referred to are there. For a short summary Izaya planned to trick gangs to fight each other but was tricked instead and attacked because Shizuo told them about Izaya's plan without Izaya's knowledge, Shizuo rescues Izaya and takes him to Shinra, they have a talk about their respective twisted love(s) and that's where we are now.
> 
> Each chapter starts off with a quote by Shizuo / Izaya. The one for this chapter should make sense in the second part. (For the chapter title, I'm referring to the idiomatic and not financial meaning)

_"Apparently, blonds are good at window dressing….though I have no idea what that means. Shouldn't it be 'window breaking'?"_

_Maybe it's a Russian saying._

   
 

Izaya woke up in his own bed.

He ran a hand through his hair, wondering if it had been a dream, and abruptly winced as moving caused him pain.

\- Aren't I supposed to be at Shinra's?

\- How long have I been out?

Questions immediately came to him. He looked towards the window. It was dark outside, signifying it was probably night.

He slid off his bed and made to exit his bedroom, going down the stairs to his living room. The answer to one of his questions laid in the form of a man in a bartender suit on his couch.

Izaya looked at the sleeping man. He took out his knife, and raised it above the blond man's chest.

\- I should kill him

\- How dare he save me

\- How dare he act like he belongs here?

\- How dare he….

But he couldn't move his hand. It felt as if he was held back by some incredible force, a force so strong that though he struggled to plunge the knife through the blond's chest, it was in vain and caused beads of sweat to trail down his face, as he exhaled heavily.

\- Why?

\- Why can't I do it?!

In frustration, Izaya flung the knife down. He backed away, panting as if he had just done a vigorous activity when in fact he had just been fighting against his own will.

Shizuo had not stirred once through his whole internal dilemma. Izaya inhaled, and fisted his hands by his sides.

\- Fine.

\- I'll just continue using you.

His lips curled into a malicious smirk as he gave a disgusted look at the slumbering monster of Ikebukuro.

-That's right.

\- I can't kill him because it would be a disadvantage to me.

\- Since they knew I had set a trap for them, it means I probably have to look out for a new enemy.

\- And if he can get people under his control like that, it means I could do with some protection in unexpected circumstances.

Satisfied with his deduction, Izaya bent and picked up the knife from the floor, sliding it back into his pocket so Shizuo wouldn't know he had tried to kill him and failed.

He gave one last look at the slumbering beast, and then turned and walked away, a smirk on his lips.

"Let's see how much you love me, Heiwajima Shizuo."

 

**Half an hour later**

Hazel eyes opened. Shizuo pushed himself up from the couch, brushing his hair away from his eyes.

"I fell asleep."

His first priority was to check on Izaya. He went to the informant's bedroom and pushed open the door.

There was no one there.

"…."

Exiting Izaya's bedroom, Shizuo took out his phone to type a message.

[Where are you?]

He went down the stairs while he waited for a reply, which came sooner than he expected.

[None of your business]

[Fine. At least tell me how long will you be out.]

[Quite a while. Don't expect me to come back anytime soon. Perhaps you could make yourself scarce in the meantime, I'd appreciate the lack of a monster in my apartment]

Before Shizuo could reply, he received another message –

[And don't you dare come and find me.]

[I won't.]

It was the truth, because he had something more important to do.

[Be safe.]

There was no reply. Shizuo exited the screen and entered another screen.

* * *

**CHATROOM**

Heiwajima Shizuo, reborn!

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I know you know what's going on. It's time.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
You certainly are straightforward, Heiwajima-san. Did your plan work?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Yeah. He's out and won't be back for a while. He wouldn't let such an incident slide, so that gives me some time.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Impressive. Well, I'll need some time as well.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
It better not be too long. I have no idea when he's going to be back.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Don't worry. Orihara-san is quite busy right now. You're right, he wouldn't be back anytime soon.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Can you cover your tracks?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Certainly. And you shouldn't be worried if I can't – after all, he would suspect me, not you.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Well it's my responsibility. I'm counting on you then Shinichi. And stop with the Heiwajima-san, makes me feel old.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
It's my honour…Shizuo. I'll inform you when I'm done. Don't close the window.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Right.

* * *

As he waits, Shizuo closes his eyes and relaxes his mind. He allows the plans he had come up with to drift through his mind, wondering which was best suited for the current situation.

His phone vibrates under his hand, and he lifts it up, pressing a button to light the screen.

[I heard from Shinra-san what happened. Is Izaya okay?]

[He's fine. It was my own doing, Kasuka.]

He feels a little nervous after he sends the message. It's his brother and his opinion means the world to him – but he can't ignore his heart either.

[I know, brother. I would tell you to not go overboard, but I believe you know what you're doing. So if I – or Ruri-san, can do anything to help, just say the word. Ruri-san is grateful for your help, and she would be glad to pay back her debt.]

Shizuo blinked in surprise. But then he smiled, feeling a weight lift off his heart as he replies.

Trust Kasuka to understand him.

[No, it's okay. I mean, I know your girlfriend's not normal, but I know she wants to be normal. A human. I don't want her involved in this. You be happy with her, okay Kasuka? Treasure the one you love.]

[Alright. But I have connections, brother. If I can help you win over the one you love, I will gladly do so. Take care of yourself, and Izaya. He's your important person, right?]

[I'll keep that in mind, Kasuka. Thanks. Yeah, I will.]

'I'll protect him with my life' – he wants to say, but knows Kasuka would tell him not to be reckless. Which he can't promise. It's Izaya after all, and he's always had no control when it comes to him.

As he's lost in his thoughts, his phone vibrates again. This time it's from Shinichi.

* * *

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I've finished hacking into his system. You can go to his computer now.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Thanks. You sure I don't need to pay you for this?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. I don't mind not receiving payment, since I'm looking forward to seeing Orihara-san's reaction – that will be priceless. Besides we're friends, right Shizuo?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Yeah I guess we are, if you don't mind being friends with a monster. But aren't you Izaya's friend?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Orihara Izaya is just an acquaintance. While I'm fond of him and his antics, I don't think he would consider me a friend. He doesn't have friends after all.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I see. He seems to talk to you a lot though.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
That's just because he's bored, and he can't really talk to anyone else. No need to be jealous, Shizuo.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Oh shut up.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. I'm not sure if I've said this, but it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Orihara speaks about you a lot.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
He does?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Yes, although he usually refers to you as 'that beast' or 'monster' or 'Heiwajima Shizuo'. Either way, you have quite the reaction on him, it's amusing to see. I'd wondered what the guy who has that kind of reaction on Orihara Izaya is like.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Since you seem to know everything that's happening in this city, you probably already know me. What's the big deal?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
People are different when by themselves or with someone than they are under the public eye. For example Orihara is certainly less polite when he talks to me, and he doesn't bother hiding his emotions as he usually does, especially when he's lacking information. But you – you're different. You're the same out there as you are here. Maybe that's why Orihara is so affected by you.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
…Now I'm jealous.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
…Why?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
You seem like you know Izaya really well. That's why I'm jealous.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha! Is that so. You certainly are direct, Heiwajima-san. No need to be envious, I'm just a mere acquaintance of his, he only seeks me out when he needs information or company.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
It's Shizuo. And you better be. Izaya's mine, Shinichi.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Not yet. But that's why I'm helping you to make him yours.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Why?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Because the city could use a holiday from him. A preferably long one.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
…Hm. I agree.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Anyway I suppose it'd be more convenient to continue this conversation on the computer.

* * *

Shizuo agrees, so he walks to Izaya's desk, turns on the computer, and is taken to Izaya's desktop, where a screen soon appears.

* * *

**CHATROOM**

Heiwajima Shizuo, reborn!

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Oi, Shinichi. You'd have to help me out here, I'm not too good with computers. I usually break them.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
You better not do that to this one, even I wouldn't be able to salvage the situation.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Yeah I know. So what now?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
All the files are unlocked, I'll lock them back up after you're done. From what I've seen, this is where Izaya keeps most of his information, so you should find it useful. For starters, search for the folder MMPFMBH

Heiwajima Shizuo  
What the hell is that?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
If I know Orihara-san well enough, it probably means something like MasterMind Plans For My Beloved Humans

Heiwajima Shizuo  
?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
It's in English. Orihara-san's multilingual. Anyway search for it.

* * *

It took Shizuo a while to find the search function. But when he found it, he followed Shinichi's instructions.

Fortunately, Izaya had written his information in Japanese. It didn't contain any plans, contrary to the folder name, but was flooded with information catered to Izaya's plans which Shizuo absorbed silently.

He hadn't expected to find any plans, for Izaya probably kept all his plans in his mind where only he had access. His computer was only for refreshing his memory.

He read and read, until he came to the old information.

_Vorona and Awakusu Akane are attached to Heiwajima Shizuo. The former was mistakenly seen as Shizu-chan's woman._

_I have a plan for Shizu-chan and his cute little kouhai. And Celty's head._

_Vorona is now Heiwajima Shizuo's kouhai._

_Since Vorona is now involved with Shizu-chan, perhaps I can use her._

_Heiwajima Shizuo rescued Awakusu Akane from Slon and Vorona._

_Note – That beast is truly unpredictable, he seems to have gained some miniscule form of intelligence. I shouldn't underestimate him – although it's natural to do so._

_Although he did fall for that simple trick. If only he would always be that dumb and predictable._

Shizuo was about to continue reading, when the chat window popped up.

* * *

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Don't destroy the computer.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Aren't you mad?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Not really. Why would I be?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
….Unpredictable indeed.

Orihara Izaya, reborn!

Orihara Izaya  
Tsukumoya, I need information.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
…

Orihara Izaya  
Tsukumoya?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
It's nothing, I was just surprised, I didn't expect you to come seeking for information again so fast.

* * *

Shizuo stared. His hands on the keyboard stilled.

Had Izaya found out?

He made to close the window, when his phone on the table shook.

* * *

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Don't close the chat window. You will be 'confirmed dead' and he will know.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Don't reply me on your phone either, or you will automatically leave the chat. And of course, don't say anything on the computer. If you don't say anything, he won't know.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
My apologies, I wasn't aware he was going to contact me. It seems his phone is connected to his computer, so it uses the same chatroom I connected to it there.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
He's waiting for the train, so he should be on the way home soon. Unfortunately I have to cater to Orihara's request, so I can't help you. But you can observe what he says.

* * *

Shizuo drew back his hand from his phone. He sent a silent thanks to Shinichi, then continued to explore Izaya's computer, keeping his eye on the chat window.

Other folders contained the names of people he assumed were important to Izaya's plans, and Izaya's clients. There was also a folder on the Awakusu-kai, and another on the Dollars.

* * *

Orihara Izaya  
You're acting strange, Tsukumoya. Are you hiding something from me?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I have nothing to hide that you wouldn't already know, Orihara-san.

Orihara Izaya  
Whatever. Anyway do I have to enlighten you on my situation or do you already know?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Enlighten me.

Orihara Izaya  
I was attacked. By three gangs. I had planned to make them fight each other, but it seems someone told them it was a trap, and they were waiting for me. I don't know anyone who could have told them that, since no one knows my plans except me. And a certain monster, but he's too dumb and nowhere near cunning enough. Oh and he's in love with me, which is quite a bother and useful at the same time.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
You're rambling. Are you that frustrated at being one upped? You seem to be quite off your game.

Orihara Izaya  
I don't appreciate lacking information. I didn't come here for banter, Tsukumoya.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
As you wish. It's probably the Dollars.

Orihara Izaya  
The Dollars?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
They're colourless. Those gangs could have been part of them. I'm surprised you didn't figure this out.

Orihara Izaya  
I did consider the possibility. But those gangs are not associated with the whole Dollars fiasco, I made sure of that.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Are you sure?

Orihara Izaya  
What do you mean?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I'm not saying your information is inaccurate. But you're lacking in information. Anyone can be part of the Dollars after all, even unexpected people.

Orihara Izaya  
Of course, they even accept the monster of Ikebukuro into their ranks. But let's say it's the Dollars, why would they want to attack me?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Why wouldn't they? It's not as if you've been uninvolved in that gang war. Ryuugamine Mikado won't be your pawn forever.

Orihara Izaya  
That's true, and I am looking forward to his evolution. However, it's not like him to use such a roundabout method to attack me. And I sense you're still hiding something. You're not usually this evasive.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Sharp as usual, aren't we? Fine, I'll tell you. The gangs are part of the Dollars. But they're not the main branch, under Ryuugamine Mikado. They're just the Dollars in name, and they stir up trouble with that name. They got their information from someone, and they used that information against you.

Orihara Izaya  
So it wasn't Mikado-kun's doing.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
No it wasn't.

Orihara Izaya  
Interesting. And who is this man behind the scenes who dares to go against me?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I can't tell you.

Orihara Izaya  
…..And why is that?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Because I am acquainted with that man. And to speak would be betrayal of his trust.

Orihara Izaya  
…..So even you can be human after all. How amusing! Well if you can't tell me who he is, at least give me information about him. Why did he go against me? Does he have some grudge against me? Does he know Mikado-kun, since he's in the Dollars? And, how did he know about my plan in the first place?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
He has no grudge against you, but he does have a plan involving you. He knows Ryuugamine Mikado. He knows about your plan since he has been observing you while you've been pretty occupied.

Orihara Izaya  
…That man wouldn't be you, would it?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha! No it's not me.

Orihara Izaya  
So I have a stalker.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I wouldn't call him a stalker. He's quite intelligent.

Orihara Izaya  
A clever stalker. Well. He must know me, but who doesn't? What I'm interested in is why he has a plan involving me. Is he perhaps another mastermind I'm unaware of? He wouldn't be Yodogiri Jinnai, would he?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
No he's not Yodogiri Jinnai. He's not acquainted with that guy at all.

Orihara Izaya  
But he's an acquaintance of yours.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Yes. I happen to know him.

Orihara Izaya  
Are you involved in his plan too?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Perhaps.

Orihara Izaya  
You would betray me, Tsukumoya?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I'm surprised to hear you so affronted, since I wasn't aware we had loyalty binding us. That's why it's not possible for me to betray you. But to reassure you, I suppose I can tell you I don't play a huge part in this plan of his. I only provide him the information he needs. He's the true mastermind.

Orihara Izaya  
Mastermind. Well Tsukumoya, between this mastermind and that mastermind, who do you think would win? Biases aside, of course.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
…I truly cannot say. I will be rooting for him, of course, since the city needs a holiday from you. However, if you let your guard down, it might be your downfall. He has power over most of Ikebukuro. But then again, so do you. May the best man win, Orihara.

Orihara Izaya  
Interesting. He sounds like quite the challenge. I'm looking forward to revealing his identity. Haha! Humans are really so interesting!

Orihara Izaya  
One last thing – do I know this man?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I don't think you do. But maybe you will, in the future.

Orihara Izaya  
A new face then. This will be something exciting indeed. Tell him, Tsukumoya, I accept his challenge. We'll see who the real mastermind is.

Orihara Izaya, confirmed dead!

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
He's gone. Shizuo you can speak now.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Why did you lie? He knows me.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
No he doesn't. He thinks he knows you. But he doesn't, does he? He never even suspected you.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
But he may in the future.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Yes, depending on how your plan goes, of course.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I'm not a mastermind, Shinichi. I just want him to be mine.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
And to do that, you want to take away his position as the mastermind. Izaya sees you as his rival now, so you can't back out.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I wasn't planning to.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I would have been disappointed if you did.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
…Thanks, Shinichi. You're a great help.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
You're welcome, Shizuo. He'll be reaching home soon, are you done yet?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I've gotten most of the information but I will probably have to look over it again. But it's a folder so I can't send it to my email. It'll be troublesome to send them one by one and if he'll be back soon, I'm not sure if I have enough time.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. Leave the technicalities to me.

 

* * *

 

When Izaya opens the door, the first thing he sees is the monster awake and looking out the window.

"Searching for me?"

He said, and Shizuo turned, looking at him.

"You're back. I've been waiting."

"I thought I told you to leave."

"Yeah but I can't leave you alone."

Izaya walked, but Shizuo walked to meet him. He averted his gaze from intense hazel eyes.

"You're still injured. You shouldn't have been walking around."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know. But I still worry about you."

Izaya said nothing. He stiffened as Shizuo pulled him close, and his face was on that bartender shirt.

"Izaya."

"What?"

"I wish you would rely on me more."

Once again, Izaya is silent to Shizuo's honest words.

"I love you."

Izaya feels himself pulled closer, as Shizuo inhales the familiar scent from his neck, and sighs as if it's the sweetest thing he's ever smelt.

Izaya laments internally at the fact that his scent is no longer monster repellent and vaguely wonders if deodorant would help to deter the irrational monster holding him, as said irrational monster speaks to him.

"It's fine if you don't love me back, if you hate me. I love you. I love you, Izaya. That's why, use me all you want. I'd be happy if I could help you."

"Take me along with you. I don't care what screwed up shit you do, how many people I have to hurt….as long as you're safe."

Those words are said loud and clear, right next to Izaya's ear. Shizuo's breath is warm, in contrast to Izaya's skin from the cold night air.

"…I thought you hated hurting people."

"I hate you being hurt even more. And if those people hurt you, I won't feel bad about hurting them at all."

"….You're impossible."

Izaya said, raising his gaze. His eyes slowly widened.

"Why…."

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, but when he spoke, his voice sounded hoarser than before.

"….Are you crying?"

The moonlight filters in through the clear glass, illuminating Shizuo's eyes and the tears on his cheeks. Shizuo responds by hugging Izaya to him again, keeping his face buried in his chest.

"Sorry. You weren't….supposed to see that."

"…What the hell? Why are you being so emotional? This isn't like you at all."

Izaya said, because Shizuo seems like a different person – again. He thought he had gotten used to the calm and logical Shizuo, but now Shizuo had changed again. He had suddenly become emotional and painfully honest, revealing his feelings to Izaya when all the time he had kept them hidden, only expressing them in his words of love.

"I wish you would be mine….Izaya."

"That has no relation to my question. Why are you always so unpredictable?"

Shizuo gave a bitter smile which struck something in Izaya's heart.

"I know. And I know you won't be mine, and that makes me sad. And you're hurt, and you'll be hurt in the future, if I…."

"If you?"

"…If I'm not there to protect you. So please, Izaya. Let me protect you. That's all I ask."

Izaya would have given a snarky remark, but Shizuo continued on.

"I wasn't there for you, that's why you got hurt. If I had been a little later, those bastards would have done something worse. I…don't want something like that to happen again."

Shizuo rested his head on his hair, and a droplet of water slid down Izaya's forehead.

Izaya's features scrunched up in exasperation.

"Don't be an idiot. What are you, my bodyguard? You have no responsibility for my well being. And don't say you do because you love me – that's not a responsibility; that's a desire. A selfish desire, might I say. You're not my bodyguard, you're Tom-san's bodyguard, and don't you have a kouhai to take care of?"

"I'll be your bodyguard if you let me."

"You're not listening to me at all, are you? Your responsibility is not with me, protozoan. I'm a generous man so you can love me all you want – but seriously, things have changed enough. Don't change them anymore."

"Things always change with you anyway with your plans and all. What difference do I make?"

"A difference even I can't stand. Now enough talk about protecting me, it's disgusting and degrading. I can protect myself."

"Tom-san knows I love you, so he will be fine with it. Vorona knows too, so she won't mind either. And she can protect herself and Tom-san well enough, since you told me she's an assassin and all. They don't really need me."

There are few who can make Izaya sigh in weariness, and so he doesn't notice when he does so.

"Shizuo. Listen to me. You are not going to be my bodyguard. You are going to go back to your job, you've had your fair share of witnessing my life and what I do. It's unfortunate your heart isn't broken yet but –"

"My heart's broken, since you refuse to let me protect you."

"-…So. Your heart is broken. Fine. All the more reason for me to forbid you from protecting me. You've already ruined all my plans by being in love with me. I tell you your kouhai is an assassin, you don't care. I tell you she was the one who kidnapped Akane-chan, you don't care either. You don't care about revelations you should be shocked by, you know one of my plans was to make you and Vorona face each other? But if you don't even care because you're in love with me and you know, how can I even do that now?"

"Sorry for ruining your plan. But I'm glad, if you had done that I would probably have killed you before I figured out I was in love with you. And then that would have really shattered me."

"That is not the point. Whether you're a beast or not there's no reasoning with you, is there?"

"You can't reason with a man in love."

You can't, Izaya thinks as Shizuo looks at him with eyes filled with the resolution of years.

Humans are fickle-minded. They change their minds constantly under the watchful eye of society, unable to stick to their beliefs.

Heiwajima Shizuo is not. Izaya has seen firsthand how resolute the man is when he's decided on something – first on hating him, and then on loving him.

He had observed men, men in love, but though they had been sincere and passionate, there had always been the tiniest doubt in their eyes. Because it was human nature to second guess one self, to have secret insecurities.

There is not a flicker of doubt in Shizuo's eyes. If he were any other person, Izaya would have felt overwhelmed.

"Apparently not. So what if I give you an ultimatum instead?"

"What?"

"Go back to where you belong. Or Kasuka-kun will be in danger."

\- Now which love will you choose?

"….Are you serious?"

Izaya just looked at him. Shizuo drew back to look into his eyes.

"….Kasuka has Ruri."

"?"

"She can protect him. I love my little brother, but it's time I let him go. He has someone who loves him, and whom he loves in return."

"….."

"Besides, if I told Kasuka I had given up on you because I didn't want him to be hurt, he would be disappointed with me. 'Brother, is that how much you love him?' – he would say. He's happy for me, you know? That I've finally found someone to love – yeah, even someone like me…can love."

"…I don't quite understand. You expect Kasuka-kun's girlfriend to protect him? I doubt she can go against –"

"Hollywood."

"….."

"I know Hijiribe Ruri is Hollywood. But I've met her. I know she truly loves Kasuka and she's really a gentle person, so I can trust my brother with her."

"How….?"

"Kasuka told me when I told him I was in love with you."

Izaya's shoulders slumped. He felt suddenly exhausted, as Shizuo ran his fingers through his hair.

"…What's wrong with wanting to protect the one you love?"

"Nothing, except that the one you love doesn't want your protection."

"….Give me one good reason I can accept, then I'll listen to you."

"…Distracting."

"?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya, who spoke without looking at him.

"You. You're distracting. You're a distraction. I have bigger things on my plate, information to seek, important things to do, and having to deal with your love for me would be a disadvantage for me."

"I –"

"You just want to protect me. Fine. But that means you will be with me. I can't stand that. You're too big a distraction, a distraction I can't afford. You're a man who loves me, but I'm not a man suited for romance."

"It's better if it's the way it was before. Even if you were unpredictable and annoying, I could deal with it. But now, all my usual methods don't work on you. Ha…haha….Honestly….I don't know what to do. Seeing you so earnestly wanting to protect me….I can't use you. Now I have to change my plans again."

Izaya said in a tone of true weariness. What he had needed was a bodyguard, not a man in love.

It was not as if he didn't know Shizuo was in love with him – he knew, that was why he had wanted to use Shizuo for protection. But seeing Shizuo wanting to protect him, imagining Shizuo looking at him with those eyes everytime they were alone, was something he couldn't take.

He would be the one disappointed in the end – because Shizuo truly loved him, and he would be happy that Izaya used him for protection. He would think Izaya needed him.

And that was something he couldn't allow. Shizuo already held too many victories over his head.

"…I see."

His chin was grabbed, and lifted gently so that his carmine eyes met with hazel ones.

"One night."

"?"

"Give me one night. Let me hold you for one night. Then after that, I'll leave you alone, as you wish."

"…."

\- What's this….?

\- Wasn't he so adamant on protecting me?

Izaya's question must have been visible on his face, for Shizuo smiled and cupped his cheek.

"If I'd cause trouble to you…..even if it hurts so, it hurts more to see you like this. That's why Izaya, I'll go against my heart for you."

"One night." Izaya said.

"One night." Shizuo agreed.

It didn't take a mastermind like Izaya to assess the benefits of Shizuo's offer. Smiling sharply, he reached forward and curled his arms around the other man's neck, digging the blade of his knife into the skin as impenetrable as the blond man's expression.

"If that's so…I'm all yours tonight."

Shizuo said nothing. He took hold of Izaya's hand, and with Izaya's other hand still holding a knife to his neck, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of the hand.

The hand jerked, and Shizuo moved to intertwine their fingers together. He pulled Izaya in closer, until they were pressed up against each other, and Izaya's eyes burned with a challenge.

"I hate you."

"I love you."

Shizuo said with the honesty Izaya hated. He met Izaya's eyes with a cool stare.

"No matter what happens, I will always love you. Even if I can no longer be by your side. Remember that information, Izaya."

And then he leaned down to cut off Izaya's reply.

 

* * *

 "Are you alright?"

Izaya woke up to the sound of a concerned voice and a hand touching his cheek.

"Don't touch me."

He pushed the hand away, sitting up on the couch.

"How long have I been out?"

"About two days. It's afternoon now."

"Your vitals are all fine. I've put back your shoulder. You have some bruises here and there, but otherwise, you should be alright."

It was Shinra's detached voice that spoke. Izaya turned his gaze to him.

"Are you sure I've been out for two days? It feels too long."

"Shizuo brought you here on Tuesday evening. It's now Thursday afternoon. Well it's a little less than two days."

"But…."

"What's wrong?"

Izaya was silent. There was something wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

He got off the couch, grabbing his jacket off the table and putting it on, sliding his arms through the sleeves.

"Shinra, I'll pay you later."

"Wait."

A hand grabbed his arm, and the calm voice that annoyed him spoke.

"Where are you going? You haven't recovered fully yet –"

"It's none of your business. I have things to do – someone set a trap for me and I'm going to find out who it is."

"I'm going with you."

"No."

"Izaya –"

"I said no, Shizuo. You're not my bodyguard, and you know what? Leave me alone from now on. Or something bad will happen to Kasuka-kun."

Something pricked him at the words, but he ignored it as his arm was free and he strode away.

"Well. I didn't expect him to leave so fast. He's usually much calmer."

Shinra spoke once Izaya was out of sight and hearing distance.

"There's confusion in his system, and since it rarely happens to him, his body is trying to make up for it with adrenaline."

"Ahahaha….you know if it weren't Izaya, maybe I might even feel bad, lying to him like this."

"You only had to tell a single lie to the master of lies."

"Right….so what now, Shizuo?"

"Nothing. We wait and see."

He sat down on the couch Izaya had been lying down on, taking out his phone.

"I've already told her to keep an eye on him for me."


	3. Window Dressing (II)

**Twenty minutes later, in a rundown building in a back alley in Ikebukuro**

 

Izaya stood speechlessly in the middle of the bloody scene.

The men he had come to find were all dead. He could see the gunshot wounds and embedded knives, and a chill enveloped him as he stood as the sole living being in the pool of blood.

There was an anguished yell and he turned, to see men looking at him in horror and anger.

"You….!"

"This bastard!"

"Information broker Orihara Izaya, to think you had the guts….!"

"Wait." The word came out before he could stop it.

"Wait. Hold on for a moment, gentlemen. I didn't do this, I'm sure you know I wouldn't do such a thing –"

Fortunately for him, his body instinctively dodged the bullet aimed at him. His eyes widened, as the man spoke.

" – Should have known, should have fucking known!"

"To think we trusted you –"

"The next one won't miss!"

It all sounded so ridiculous to Izaya, that, had he not been aware his life was truly in danger, he would have laughed.

To think that he – Orihara Izaya, had been framed.

And it was in the exact same way he had framed Heiwajima Shizuo.

Izaya's heart jolted in his chest.

\- Could it be?

\- He wouldn't….would he?

BANG

Izaya ducked, then darted forward, wielding his knives. He knocked the gun out of one man's hand and stabbed the other one, barely avoiding the bullet of the third gun.

"YOU BASTARD!"

"Now, I'm doing this all in self-defence, so if you would kindly drop your weapons I can help you to find out the real perpetrator of this crime."

Izaya spoke with a grim smile on his face, but the men didn't seem to buy his words, instead looking angrier than before.

"LIKE HELL WE'LL FALL FOR YOUR LIES A SECOND FUCKING TIME!"

"GET HIM!"

\- There's no reasoning with them.

Such a thought fuelled the adrenaline in his body, even as he sought for an escape route, away from the possibility of death in the scene of the crime.

* * *

 Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Impressive

Heiwajima Shizuo  
What is?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
You. And to think you used the same method he used to frame you with the Awakusu-kai. Haha. Perhaps Orihara has indeed found his match.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I would hope so.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Those men can be quite aggressive though. And you put him in quite a precarious position. Are you not worried at all?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Not really. He can handle himself.

And even if he can't, she can definitely handle them. She was the one who killed them after all.

* * *

 

It was when Izaya was facing a gun aimed at his head that a figure dropped to the ground.

Before the man could pull the trigger, the gun flew out of his hand, and he received a jab in his ribs that made him howl in pain.

"You…."

A gun was pointed at him by the female. A bullet whizzed past him and hit its target, causing a scream.

"Converse later, Orihara Izaya."

"….Fine."

The male and female stood in the scene of battle, back to back, she armed with a gun and he with his trusty knife.

They separated backs at almost the same time, moving with agility and speed amongst their opponents. Gunshots echoed vividly in the air, accompanied with yells and shouts and screams as he darted in and out, slashing and stabbing at their weak points.

He slashed his knife across a man's neck, then knocked him out with a blow to the head. He turned, to see her shooting a man point blank in the forehead, unaware of the man about to strike her with the metal pole.

But she proved she was a valedictorian in the battlefield when without looking, she timed her movements and swung her arm so hard into his abdomen that something cracked and he choked and shuddered, his eyes widening until the veins were visible, the metal pole falling from his hands.

She brought him down with her safety boot, then lifted her gun and shot him straight in the heart, killing him immediately.

Another gun suddenly appeared in her other hand and he heard a gunshot then a scream near him, and turned to see another man collapsing, the knife dropping on the floor.

She made her way over to the guy she had shot calmly. She bent down, and placed the barrel of the gun against his head.

"P-Please no – s-spare me – I-"

"Negative. You attacked my charge. And underestimated my capability of protecting. Orihara Izaya is off limits. Thus you deserve death. Heiwajima Shizuo would agree."

"H-Heiwa –"

"You are fortunate. Had he been here, you would do the opposite – you would have pleaded for death."

"Consider your fortune. I shall allow you to depart to your comrades."

BANG

She had pulled the trigger, and he was dead.

She stood up, and kept her weapons, her blue eyes emotionlessly surveying the carnage around her.

"That is the last one."

"I could have handled that."

"Negative. You were in a state of distraction. Had I not intervened, you would have been seriously injured. He was aiming for your vitals."

"…What are you doing here, Vorona? And what was that about Heiwajima Shizuo? Did he send you here?"

"Affirmative. You disallowed him to follow you. Shizuo-sempai was worried and thus sent me to protect you."

He watched as her blue eyes assessed the bloody scene.

"Before you ask, I didn't do it."

"Affirmative. I did."

"What?"

"I killed them."

He whipped out his knife and held it to her neck, as her blue eyes remained blank and emotionless.

"It is no use. I am the culprit, but it was on orders."

"Orders from who?"

"Assassins require not awareness of clients' identity. We require only money for kill."

Slowly, Izaya lowered the knife.

"What about Shizuo?"

"What about him?"

"He sent you here to protect me? How did he know I would be attacked?"

"…Please be aware of your identity, information broker Orihara Izaya. I am here as precaution."

"This is not a job. I am doing this for Shizuo-sempai. He is in love with you and thus wants you to be safe. I am merely following his wishes."

"….That monster."

"I may be forbidden from hurting you, but I do not appreciate the disrespect to my sempai."

At her annoyed look, Izaya gave her a smirk and walked towards the bodies on the floor.

"Orihara, there should be a note."

"A note?"

"A note, yes. I was instructed to pass on a message to you."

"To me?"

"Affirmative. I left the note in the breast pocket of the target with the black shirt. Had I known I would be coming back to the scene of the crime, I would have kept it and given it to you personally."

Vorona sounded amused, as if it was the first time in her life she had come back to see the job she had done.

Izaya glanced at her, then bent to fish out the piece of paper from the breast pocket of the black shirt.

* * *

 Tsukumoya Shinichi  
It's kind of ironic.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
That you have Vorona on your side. That you're partners when you fought against each other before.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
No more ironic than falling in love with Orihara Izaya.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
True. Even your heart is unpredictable. Still, you sent her superior flying.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
What? When did I do that? I don't remember.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Does a park bench bring anything to mind?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Park bench – oh. Park bench. You mean that.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
One of them was Hijiribe Ruri, the other was Igor.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Igor?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
That is the name he goes by. Also known as the Killing Machine, 7th deadliest assassin in Russia. He uses anything as a weapon. He can even use a piece of paper to slice open someone's neck. Yet you knocked him out with a single blow. It's amusing and incredulous at the same time.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I wasn't really thinking, I was just pissed off they broke my attache case. Well but because of that incident Kasuka got to meet Ruri, so something good did come out of it. Maybe I have to ask Vorona to let me meet this Igor guy to apologize.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. You're funny, Heiwajima-san.

* * *

 

**Orihara Izaya**

**You have a week left to live.**

Izaya's heart stopped for a second.

It started beating again when he read the next line.

**Joke. It was a joke! Don't look like that, Orihara. I'm not that cruel.**

**Ah, it's fun trolling the troll.**

"…"

Izaya's eyebrow twitched.

**Because I know you're afraid of death. So it might not be a week, but your life will be in danger if you insist on retaining your position**

**You know what position I'm talking about. The mastermind. The one pulling the strings in this glorious city of Ikebukuro.**

**There's a new mastermind now, and he knows everything there is to know about you.**

**Because he has information sources like you do. Tsukumoya Shinichi, for example.**

-….Tsukumoya…..

-You would betray me?

**I even know about Heiwajima Shizuo. Yes, I have gotten even the newest information. I know that he loves you, and in such a situation, you would rely on him –**

**But you can't hide behind him forever. I'm sure you know Nebula? There are methods, though not quite legal, to keep the Monster of Ikebukuro subdued. Perhaps even permanently.**

**So, to sum it up, step down Orihara, it's time you gave up your throne. Go back to living like a normal human.**

**I'll be watching you. And if you refuse, then –**

**Let's see what I'll do.**

**\- Tsuki**

**P.S. Obviously, that isn't my real name. I just thought I'd give you a name to the man who will be your downfall.**   


* * *

 Heiwajima Shizuo  
Oh yeah, Shinichi. Thanks.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Why are you expressing your gratitude?

Heiwajima Shizuo  
For helping me with the note. I wanted to do it myself, but Vorona said I sounded too much like – well, myself. I even used 'Izaya' instead of 'Orihara'.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. It's no problem. It was entertaining writing it. He should have found your note about now.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Your note, you mean.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Technicalities. By the way why Tsuki? It sounds a little close to 'Tsukumoya' for me

Heiwajima Shizuo  
It does? Sorry about that. I couldn't think of a name. But I was looking at the moon yesterday, so….

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
…Excuse my rudeness, but you're like free entertainment, Shizuo. I have no idea why Orihara doesn't keep you around.

* * *

 

So it wasn't Shizuo.

Shizuo could never act that well, and he would never talk to him in such a way.

Izaya didn't notice the relief that filled his heart. He folded the note and kept it in his pocket for future study, then stood up from the floor.

"Vorona."

"?"

"Shizuo can't be involved in this."

"Shizuo-sempai is not involved –"

"No I meant, he can't be involved in this. In whatever your client is planning for me. Since I'm not going to see him again, do me a favour and tell him that for me."

"….I request for the reason."

"Because I can't let my toy be killed, can I? Where would I get my entertainment from then?"

Izaya said with a smirk as he walked past the dead bodies. Vorona followed him.

"Irrelevant. You are no longer entertained by Shizuo-sempai. You are now affected by him. Just as he wants you to be safe, you too desire his safety. I presume, he threatened his life in the message, you are thus anxious."

"Think what you want. But I do not love that monster as he does me. It would merely be troublesome to have him as a distraction."

"Love – perhaps not. But care is the first step to love. Regardless, I will accept your favour and inform Shizuo-sempai."

"…."

  
Izaya just smirked. He exited the room, raising his hand in a casual wave.

"You have my appreciation. Now do depart, your job as my bodyguard is over, Vorona. I'm heading back to my own territory."

 

* * *

 Heiwajima Shizuo  
I think it's about time for me to head over there.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
It's about time for me to depart too.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Yeah. He'll probably be bombarding you with questions soon. For your own sake Shinichi, you better not have sounded too much like yourself.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I admit, I might have gotten carried away. If you didn't do any editing.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
I didn't. I'd have only made it worse. And my English isn't good.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Well, we've known each other for a long time even though we're mere acquaintances. So he shouldn't suspect me. And even if he does, he'll be reaching the wrong conclusion.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Hm.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I must say, that was a smart move though. Shizuo.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
What are you talking about?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Making him forget.

Heiwajima Shizuo  
Oh that. It was Vorona who gave me the idea. I guess assassins are used to erasing witnesses' memories.

* * *

 

**Last night, in an apartment in Shinjuku**

 

A blond man stood at the window. He stood silently, as he looked at the moon in the night sky.

"No matter what, you won't let me protect you. No matter what emotions I show, you won't let me be by your side."

He spoke softly to himself, hazel eyes focused on something only he could see.

"Do you really hate me that much?"

Light snores was his answer. He smiled wryly out into the night.

"You break my heart, Izaya."

\- That's why I have to do this.

 

Izaya was woken by the sound of glass shattering. He jolted up in bed, eyes widening as he darted his gaze to the window.

Shizuo stood amongst broken pieces of glass, his fist clenched and his expression hidden. There was another shadow beside him, and he raised his gaze to meet blue eyes in the darkness.

"You're –"

Before he could react, his neck was grabbed and he was slammed down onto the bed, as a hand held a syringe above him.

He felt it stabbed into his skin, his cry coming out strangled.

"S-Shizuo, you…."

The figure got off him, retracting the syringe. Izaya's hand reached out towards the blond man, and slumped as his eyes closed as his body fell.

\- Shizuo you bastard…

He would not know he wouldn't remember his last thought before he descended into darkness.

 

"Did you leave any marks?"

"Negative."

"Good."

Silence for a moment, before he spoke.

"Sorry for asking you to do this."

"Apologies unneeded – I am glad to be of service."

"Thanks. You sure he wouldn't remember anything?"

"Affirmative. Orihara Izaya will rise tomorrow, unaware of reality."

"I see. Then, our job here is done. You must be tired, tailing him all the way. Why don't you go home and have a rest?"

"If Shizuo-sempai requests. Effort negligible, tailing is a necessary skill for my profession."

"Ah, is that so."

"I wish to be enlightened on Shizuo-sempai's future movements."

"Well I'm going to take him to Shinra, then I'll need your help."

"?"

"Those guys Izaya went to talk to just now. I need to have a little talk with them. You can just tell me the location, and I'll go."

"Negative. I believe, two heads to be better than one – I wish to accompany Shizuo-sempai on his trip. In the case targets are unbending, I will exterminate. Pity, pity."

"Maybe make an example by killing one guy but don't kill all of them. Killing is bad. But I suppose it can't be helped."

Vorona tilted her head, the curious action contrasting her words.

"Request."

"?"

"I remember. Information was gathered in the mission Shizuo-sempai assigned. Backstabbing is their intention."

"…."

"Such was expressed after Orihara Izaya's departure. Gleeful they are, for in him seeking assistance, they presume he has let his guard down."

"I see. Are you sure?" Shizuo said as he picked Izaya's unconscious body up in his arms.

"Affirmative. I – in absorbing information, make no mistake."

"Never again."

"Shizuo-sempai?"

"Never fucking again will I let dirty bastards lay their hands on Izaya….if he's going to get hurt it'll be by my hand, and my hand alone."

 

Vorona said nothing. She did not back away from the burning atmosphere around Shizuo. She merely moved forward, as if she was a firefighter passing through flames, holding out her hands.

"If Shizuo-sempai wishes to release his anger…holding his love would be detrimental. Thus, I offer."

Her words startled him. He blinked and looked at her, then looked down at the man in his arms.

"…No it's fine."

Vorona looked down at her own hands. Thinking Shizuo was concerned about the extent of her strength, she could not help but say, "Be rest assured, although I lack Shizuo-sempai's strength to carry a 100kg + motorbike with one hand, I can handle a human with both."

"Actually, this guy isn't as light as he looks. But that isn't the point. I meant…I'm calm now. So it's fine."

He smiled at her in a reassuring way, his voice peaceful again. She tilted her head, then dropped her hands, nodding to show her understanding.

"I'm going to kill them."

"…!"

He had said this in the same peaceful tone he had used to declare he was calm.

"Screw negotiation. After I drop off Izaya at Shinra's, I'm going to kill those bastards planning on hurting Izaya."

Vorona was too surprised to open her mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry you have to direct me there. I'm really troubling you too much, but I don't know the way."

As if not noticing her shock, Shizuo continued speaking leisurely in that same calm tone.

"Anyway, I guess we should get going. The sooner I can kill those bastards the better. Then I think I'll ask Shinichi if there are any more of them, and if there are I'll kill them too. And after that I'm spending the night at Shinra's, I'm not leaving Izaya's side."

  
It seemed Shizuo was completely ignorant to the shocking things he was saying and had gone on to visualize what he would do after killing the men who had planned to hurt his beloved.

"Shizuo-sempai."

"? What is it, Vorona?"

"Reject. I reject. Correction. I accept – deaths of those who conspire against Orihara Izaya; but I propose to be the cause."

"What? No, no way I can't make you do such a thing, I'd be a worse sempai. It was bad enough I had to allow you to kill one –"

Shizuo trailed off, seeming to change his mind when the killing would be done by his kouhai.

"I plead your understanding."

Vorona said simply. Shizuo stared at her, and she continued.

"If Shizuo-sempai's kindness deters, might I remind that I'm a trained assassin, I have already killed many."

"Yeah I know. But it's not the same, Vorona. You're my kouhai. I can't ask you to kill on my behalf."

"And you're my sempai. To the sempai I admire – I wish to desist him from killing. I ask that Shizuo-sempai grants my wish."

"…."

Shizuo looked at Vorona stoically. Vorona returned the look with an emotionless stare.

"What if I say no?"

"Disappointment. Truthfully. And concern will extend to my withholding the location from Shizuo-sempai."

"…You would prevent me from my revenge on those bastards who want to backstab Izaya?"

Shizuo's voice had dropped, his eyes turning cold. His gaze felt like a cold burn upon her skin.

 

Shizuo was not holding her motorbike on his shoulder or kicking a car towards her, and both his hands were occupied carrying Orihara Izaya, whom she was sure he would never use as a weapon. Yet she felt she would dissolve if she stepped any closer to him. If the atmosphere around him had been burning before, it was positively acidic now.

Every cell in her logical brain was screaming at her to think 'No' so the message could travel to the forward portion of the frontal lobe as 'shake your head' which would then inform her primary motor cortex for her body to do just that – to convey to the dangerous man she would not go in between him and his plans.

Vorona knew and comprehended all this as the logical woman she was. However, at that moment, it was not logic governing her.

It was her will. That dictated her illogical course of action –

"…Yes."

She did not speak further to explain herself. For the way Heiwajima Shizuo was, he wouldn't listen to any explanations.

So she waited, her heart racing in the fear she overrode with her will.

\- What am I doing?

\- This man is truly frightening.

\- I should not have opposed him.

\- I've made an enemy out of him.

\- When I don't have the strength to fight him yet.

\- Was I angry he didn't allow me to indulge in my bloodthirsty tendencies?

\- Was I upset he was preventing me from carrying out my job?

Even though she had said out loud from her heart the reason why she did not want Shizuo to kill, Vorona could not remain calm internally at the deadly silence surrounding Shizuo, and her mind irrelevantly sought out logical thoughts to reason to herself.

  
"…I see. If you're really that determined…"

Shizuo walked, and as he brushed past her as if she was no longer significant, the cold burn travelled to her heart.

She stared forward silently, hearing him speaking as he made his way to the door.

"I really am sorry, Vorona. I'm such a bad sempai, making you do this."

"….!"

Vorona's eyes widened in surprise, as Shizuo, facing away from her, talked.

"If you insist, then I guess it can't be helped. Actually, I just had an idea. I want those bastards dead, but I sort of need them for my plan. Hm, how about tomorrow? You'll have to go there alone though, I'm still staying with Izaya."

Vorona was so relieved that it was only because her brain was used to absorbing information that she could clearly comprehend Shizuo's words.

"Negative. Debt collecting is my temporary occupation, my true occupation is that of a killer. Affirmative, to Shizuo-sempai's new plan. Shizuo-sempai, now mastermind, I am now servant, will do as ordered."

"Hey, don't say that. You're not my servant, you're my friend."

"….I see. Friend it is, then. However, I am still kouhai, and Shizuo-sempai is still sempai, I declare. Difference merely lies in change of profession."

"Haha yeah. That's good then."

Shizuo said with a fond smile at his kouhai. That familiar smile eased Vorona's heart, and she felt her anxiety fade away, as she felt a sense of pride and relief that she had managed to stay firm in her resolution. His visage was serene again, and she could almost believe his threatening presence that had brought fear in even her had been nothing but a trick of her mind.

But it was not, for it had been too real to be an illusion. She would not have felt fear otherwise. She could only be relieved that Heiwajima Shizuo was being unpredictable again and had changed his mind in a split second.

 

Shizuo opened the door, and emerged from Izaya's bedroom, Vorona closing it behind her. Vorona followed Shizuo as he made his way through Izaya's apartment as if it was his own home. Down the stairs, to the right, past the huge expanse of glass that showcased Shinjuku's night scenery, walking diagonally past the desk that caught her eye as it was L-shaped, straight forward, to the right and down to the door.

Orihara Izaya's apartment was neatly and beautifully furnished, and Vorona's gaze had been drawn to its lavish design, particularly the rows and rows of highly enticing books on bookshelves at what she assumed to be the reading corner on the second floor. She felt a sense of nostalgia, and would have brought up the topic to Shizuo, had he not been so silent that she had no inclination to disturb him in his meditation.

\- Of course, Orihara Izaya is an information broker.

\- Information is his expertise, not merely leisure.

Even as Vorona mused silently to herself, she was looking at Shizuo, who had been acting as if he had seen it all before. She wondered how many times he had been in the apartment, and how strong his focus was, to not look any way but straight as he carried the apartment's owner out of it.

"Glass."

"?"

His gaze had finally shifted, and she spoke promptly.

"Broken glass, would it not cause suspicion?"

"Yeah it would. Why?"

"Disadvantageous. I suggest clear up as soon as possible."

Shizuo thought for a while as they walked down the stairs, then said –

"…No, it could be an advantage. It'd make Izaya more paranoid, and when people are paranoid, they tend to not focus on the real issue."

Vorona blinked, and soon found herself speaking.

"Affirmative. In addition, bedroom is private quarters, will induce insecurity. My mistake…Shizuo-sempai's intelligence goes beyond my comprehension."

"Huh? No, it's just a small thing…."

Shizuo said, seeming puzzled at her praise. He did not seem to acknowledge his smartness and flexibility of mind. She watched him silently, wondering if the man in his arms had realized his intelligence.

\- It's not a small thing.

\- It's more akin to precognition

\- Looking at the future and predicting it

\- Thinking of the future and not only the current situation

\- …It never even crossed my mind.

It was at that moment that Vorona realized that she had underestimated the man in front of her. When it came to strength, he held her deepest respect and she felt unworthy to even stand beside him.

But she had thought she beat him in mental strength and intelligence, books had been her pastime since young and she had gone through many experiences which trained her brain. She was not proud, it was simply a fact.

And despite his hidden intelligence, Shizuo wasn't proud either. Perhaps that was why he had a possible advantage over Orihara Izaya, for he was less likely than the other man to lose himself in hubris.

\- Heiwajima Shizuo.

\- This guy…is just full of surprises.

Rather than feeling a sense of inferiority, what Vorona felt was more close to anticipation, not much different from how she felt when she finally had the time to open and read a book she had been looking forward to. Having observed many humans, yet never knowing what to expect from the blond man, she felt like a smart child pushed up several grades, into a league beyond expectation.

But children were adaptable, they might stumble and fall but they always got back up, with more knowledge than before. That was why childhood was a crucial phase for learning. And just like such a smart child lost in another world, Vorona too felt she would adapt and learn as she studied the human Heiwajima Shizuo.

  
"Hey Vorona."

"….?"

They had just gone out into the open, and Shizuo was still looking forward, as he cradled Shinjuku's information broker close to his heart in his chest.

It seemed that he didn't need to look at her to see her give him a questioning look, and Vorona had the fleeting thought that while she had been oblivious about his mental capabilities, he had already comprehended her much more than other people.

"If things go as planned, we might be able to get your partner back."

"…!"

  
And with just those words, Vorona was torn away from her analysis of Heiwajima Shizuo and thrown back into the not so distant past.

Various thoughts ran across her mind, but there was only one thing Vorona could say in reply.

The thought that seemed more from her heart than her mind.

"…Relieved I am….to hear that."

…


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

**_"Love is for fools. That's why I'm not surprised he has the biggest, stupidly honest love I've ever seen."_ **

**_Honestly, it's disgusting._ **

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

****

Orihara Izaya, reborn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Welcome, Orihara. What can I do for you?

Orihara Izaya  
….

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Orihara?

Orihara Izaya  
Nothing. I just felt a sense of déjà vu

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Really. And here I thought you weren't into the occult.

Orihara Izaya  
Déjà vu is not only concerned with the occult. Getting to matters, Tsukumoya, who is Tsuki? And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, why, he may even be you.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I didn't deny it. But Tsuki is not me. He did come to me for information on you though.

Orihara Izaya  
And you gave it to him.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I'm sure you know as an information broker yourself, our job is to provide information. I'm not exclusively yours, Orihara.

Orihara Izaya  
…Don't say it like that, it's disturbing. First Shizuo and now you. What, is there some trend of homosexuality I'm unaware of?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
I didn't know you felt that way, Orihara.

Orihara Izaya  
Cut the crap. And speaking about Shizuo, you told him didn't you? That Tsuki guy.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Like I said, my job is to provide information, I'm not concerned with the consequences. Tsuki-san has been watching you for quite a while. He named himself Tsuki because he was looking at the moon. He's quite an eccentric character, I might say. And he knows almost everything about you.

Orihara Izaya  
Sounds like a lunatic to me. Or a stalker. He must be quite eccentric if he's associated with you. Now won't you tell me who he is? Do I know him?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
As you said, I'm associated with him so I can't betray his trust. But don't worry Orihara, he's the true mastermind, I merely provide information. I work for both sides, you can say, a neutral party. And no, you don't know him.

Orihara Izaya  
Not Yodogiri then. I'm sure you've heard of the incident before this. Was he the one who provided information to the three gangs?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Yes. Those gangs, I'm sure you've figured out, are part of the Dollars but they're the ones who stir up trouble.

Orihara Izaya  
Looks like Mikado-kun isn't being thorough in his job. Perhaps I should do him a favour and send this little piece of information along to him. Ah and is Tsuki part of the Dollars?

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
No. But he may be joining the Dollars soon.

Orihara Izaya  
A new face in the Dollars. Interesting.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. May the best man win, wouldn't you agree Orihara?

Orihara Izaya  
No.

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Really.

Orihara Izaya  
May the Mastermind win – and that is me. Tell your friend, Tsukumoya, checkmate is mine.

Orihara Izaya, confirmed dead!

Tsukumoya Shinichi  
Haha. Be careful, Orihara. Arrogance might just be your downfall. This isn't an opponent you can underestimate.

 

 

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

 

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

 

 

Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

When Izaya entered his apartment, he found a monster on the couch instead of the secretary he expected.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to come back."

"Get out. You don't belong here. Where's Namie?"

"I sent her out. Told her I wanted to talk to you alone."

Izaya made his way to his desk, pulling out the chair and sitting down as he put his computer off sleep mode.

"Vorona told me you were attacked. What happened?"

"It's none of your business."

There was silence, and Izaya's hands flew across the keys, his gaze focused on the screen in front of him.

He was about to press enter when his hand was grabbed, and he turned to see a pair of hazel eyes.

"Let me go."

"No."

The black haired man was pulled out of his chair and forced against the glass. He looked up as the blond man loomed over him, trapping him.

"I've been patient with you. I've given you your space when all I want to do is make you mine. I'm worried about you Izaya, and you better tell me what happened before I lose it."

Shizuo's baritone voice dropped at the end, and Izaya stared coldly at the intense gaze.

"What do you want from me? Sex? Love? Don't make me laugh. We've been enemies for years, trying to kill each other and you suddenly go and turn this all into some romance monstrosity on your own. And you expect me to reciprocate?"

"Who do you think I am? I'm information broker, Orihara Izaya, lover of humanity. Even if you've suddenly fallen in love with me, there's no way I will ever return your feelings. I hold no responsibility towards you and your disgusting love. I have better, more important things to be addressed, and I'm not wasting my time with a monster –"

Izaya couldn't evade the lips that came crashing down on his, neither could he prevent the muffled cry as his back was slammed down onto the floor. His futile struggles were nothing against the monster who could shatter metal, and he gasped as his mouth was violated by a vicious tongue.

"Get…off me!"

The blond man didn't even deign him with a reply as he shoved his knee in between his legs and Izaya began to panic. He thrashed underneath the man in a bartender suit, flinging his hands out to push the other man off.

"Stop…stop, Shizuo!"

But the blond man seemed like a man possessed as he shoved the information broker's legs apart and pulled at the belt, his fingers cracking metal. Izaya choked on the air which suddenly seemed thinner as fingers pressed down hard on his wrists until they bruised.

"You beast! How dare you –argh!"

"SHUT UP!"

The black haired man clawed frantically at the hand crushing his windpipe with his free but weakening hands, his eyes growing wider and his vision getting narrower as his mouth opened to let out a gasp.

"S-Shizuo….Shizu-….chan…."

The fading words snapped Shizuo out of his trance. His hand released its grasp on Izaya's throat, and the man fell back, coughing and gasping as hazel eyes widened in realization.

"Shit. Shit, Izaya. I'm so sorry –"

'Don't touch me' Izaya's eyes screamed what his abused throat could not. Shizuo's hand stilled and he drew it back.

"…I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen."

He looked at the bruises lining Izaya's throat with a weary gaze.

"Monster. You're right, Izaya. I'm a monster. I almost forced you, something I promised myself I would never do. But I love you. I really do."

His voice sounded as if he couldn't even believe the words himself.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. But you make me lose control. I don't trust myself around you."

"That's why, this is goodbye, Izaya."

"What?"

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving you alone, and when I return, I promise I'll be a better man. For you."

"…Yeah. Leave. Leave, Heiwajima Shizuo! Best idea you've had I'd say. Get out of my apartment, and never come back."

"…"

Shizuo stood up, looked at the one he loved as if wanting to kiss him one last time, before he turned and made his way to the door.

"Goodbye, Izaya. And….I'm sorry."

And then the hand resting on the doorframe was gone, and so was the man in a bartender suit.

_I'm sure you know Nebula? There are methods, though not quite legal, to keep the Monster of Ikebukuro subdued._

_Perhaps even permanently._

Izaya stared at the empty space as the words rung in his mind.

"…Don't get yourself involved in something you know nothing about. You're already a protozoic brain, you don't need the foolishness of love."

But the apartment was empty save for him and it seemed as if he was speaking to himself, for the one the words were meant for was not there.

"…"

Izaya clenched his fists, smiled twistedly, and told himself he wasn't losing his control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Somewhere in Shinjuku**

 

_SMASH_

_CRASH_

_BANG_

The tranquillity of the air was ripped apart like how the man was tearing the lid of a garbage can clean in half with his hands.

Orihara Izaya was absent, yet Heiwajima Shizuo seemed to be in a rage. But that was not what surprised them – what surprised them was the fact that the Monster of Ikebukuro was back, for there had been no violence enacted by him for a long while.

Even the residents of Shinjuku knew this, as many of them had encountered a calm Heiwajima Shizuo accompanying Orihara Izaya to his apartment, or walking along and acting like a normal civilian, as if he belonged in their city.

When a signpost crashed into a building wall and shattered glass, the adults of Shinjuku wisely chose to avoid the potential hazard and scampered away.

Each for their own – for Shinjuku was a more dangerous place than Ikebukuro, and there were no warning screams from the people who survived in the city where killings could happen in broad daylight with none the wiser.

The man in a bartender suit uprooted a lamppost from the ground, bent it in half like a twig, and threw it into the sky, where it spun like a boomerang into the distance.

There was a crash which sounded from miles away, but it was overridden by the louder noise that came from the smashing of glass from the vending machine slammed into the ground.

He picked the bent metal up with one hand and flung it, sending it crashing into a signpost, which in turn caused it to topple and fall down across the windscreen of some unfortunate person's car, causing cracks like those formed on the ground by the slam of the man's shoe.

His eyes flashed at the scene of destruction around him, and then he whirled, and swung his fist into the wall, shattering brick just as easily as he shattered glass, digging his fist into cement and tearing into his lip until he tasted blood.

"FUUCKKKKKKKKK!"

His other hand crushed brick into his hands into nothing more than dust, as the curse left his throat in a hoarse yell.

He uncurled his fingers, and dust fell from his hands, sprinkling onto the pavement like the remains of his demolished control.

"….Shit."

His back touched the wall, and he closed his eyes and lay his fists by his sides.

He took deep breaths, and when he opened his eyes, he lifted his foot off the dust that had once been solid pieces of wall.

"I just wanted to know what happened. I know what happened, but I just wanted to hear it from you."

"I wanted to hear….that you trusted me. That you could share your burden with me."

He lowered his head, and his blond hair covered his shaded eyes as he spoke, fingernails caked with dirt digging into the destroyed wall behind him.

"But I guess that wasn't to be. Haha…I'm an idiot, really."

Chuckling bitterly to himself, he lifted his head, gazing into the bright afternoon sky, as a dark storm brewed in his heart.

"You make me lose control. Whether it's love or hate, I can't hold back when it comes to you. I lose myself, and when I find myself again, it's too late. The damage is already done."

"I'm a monster. A beast, as you call me. But it's you who makes me be the monster you want me to be."

And then he lifted his back off the wall and emerged from the alleyway, shoving his hands into his pockets as he swept his gaze over the scene of destruction.

"…."

He turned away, and pulled his hand out of his pocket, bearing a pair of designer sunglasses. He slid them onto his face, pushing them up with a hand as he tilted his head, looking through purple into the glare of the sun.

He lowered his gaze then walked, a lone man into the distance, his heart as isolated as the street which bore its turmoil and hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**A reception room somewhere in Ikebukuro**

 

"O-Oi, you bastard! I-I don't care i-if you're the monster of Ikebukuro you can't go in there you have no idea who you're messing with –"

Shizuo had very calmly raised a hand, and touched the knuckle to the man's nose.

He had not smashed his hand back, he had given the man's nose a backward tap.

Yet it was enough to send the man stumbling back on his feet, yelling in pain as he clutched at his bloodied nose.

"Arghhhh -!"

Still in a very calm manner, he pushed down his designer sunglasses, and the man's throat stopped moving.

Shivers wracked his body at the cold look in those eyes, as he felt as if a dozen icy daggers had pierced into his skin.

"What's happening here?"

"S-Shiki-sama! I – he….!"

"Heiwajima Shizuo?"

The man in a bartender suit turned, shifting his gaze. The older man stilled for the slightest moment, before the blond man pushed his sunglasses back up and spoke.

"Oh sorry. I didn't know you were having a meeting. It's really rude of me to interrupt. I need to talk to you, so I'll just wait outside until your meeting is done."

He spoke in a measured tone in polite Japanese, inclining his head slightly in apology towards the older men. He turned, and was about to walk away when the other man spoke.

"Just in time, Heiwajima. We were expecting Orihara's information. You're a bit early, but the meeting's going to be done soon. Would you mind waiting over there?"

"No. It's no problem at all."

Shizuo said, and walked to the wall, leaning against it. Shiki got up from the couch, calmly walked over to the man with a bloodied nose, and slammed his fist into his face.

The man choked as his face was smashed repeatedly against the wall and then whipped around as the Yakuza executive's sharp eyes bored into his terrified ones.

"First the Headless Rider and now Heiwajima Shizuo. Have you not been paying attention? Heiwajima is allied with Orihara and is thus our ally now – he is not an intruder. It seems you need another lesson to treat our guests with _respect._ "

The man's mouth opened in a silent scream as his head was ground against the hard wall, and then grabbed and collided harshly with the ground. His eyes widened to their pupils as his superior's shoe crashed mercilessly onto his head, as he struggled to hold back the howl lodged in his throat.

"S-Sorry…my deepest apologi-es….Shi-ki—s—aughhh- -sama…."

The younger man stuttered haltingly as he struggled not to choke on the blood in his mouth.

In response, Shiki merely crushed his shoe into his subordinate's head harder as he spoke coolly.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, am I?"

He was lifted roughly by the collar, his black eye struggling to blink away the blood and take in the sight of the Monster of Ikebukuro leaning casually against the wall.

"Now tell me, who is that?"

"H-Heiwajima Shizuo."

"And who is Heiwajima Shizuo?"

"Our…guest…."

"And what is the number one rule when we have guests?"

"To….ugh…always treat our guests with respect…"

"Correct. Heiwajima Shizuo is our guest, and you showed great disrespect towards him. Now what should you do?"

"Sorry….S-Sorry….Heiwajima-san…!"

The man in a bartender suit looked at him as if not really caring, then shrugged and said simply.

"It's fine. Not a big deal."

His countenance had changed, and he was melding into the wall as if he was a part of it, giving off a relaxed vibe, not looking at all willing to lift a hand to stop the unnecessary violence like Celty had.

But there was no emotion in his voice, and the man barely managed to register this, before his face met with the ground, as he stared dazedly at the tooth that had dropped out.

Shiki strode away from his bloodied subordinate as he spoke apologetically to Shizuo.

"I'm sorry for his rudeness, it seems I have been too lenient on discipline."

"Oh no it's fine, he didn't hurt me or anything. Would you mind if I have a smoke?"

"Not at all, go ahead."

"Thanks."

There was a cigarette in the man's hand, and a lighter in the other, and the smell of smoke soon filled the air. Shiki sat back down on the couch, leaning back into the comforter as he regarded the trembling man opposite with a smile.

"Apologies for the interruption. Now where were we?"

 

 

 

 

"Have a seat, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo took the seat where the terrified man had previously occupied. He blew another cloud of smoke, then removed the cigarette from his lips, holding it between his thumb and index finger.

"I'll get to the point. I'm not here to provide you with Izaya's information. In fact, from now on, I will no longer be by his side."

"Oh?"

Shiki's eyes shone with an amused glint.

"That's surprising, Heiwajima-san. I thought you loved him. And if your love was enough to overcome your previous hatred of him…."

He trailed off, but Shizuo didn't take the bait.

"Shiki-san. You have my respect, but I suggest you don't assume about things you know nothing about. I am still in love with Izaya, but things have changed. I will now be against him, for I see benefits in the long run."

"You're right. It's none of my business, my apologies."

Shiki said, but he still looked amused and didn't sound apologetic at all.

"So, what can we help you with?"

"I'm here for Slon."

"….Slon?"

"Don't try to hide it. I know the Awakusu-kai have him locked up somewhere."

"I see. Did you get that information from Orihara?"

"Not from Izaya. From another information broker which Izaya gets his information from."

"Orihara gets his information from someone else?"

"Occasionally. Back to the point, Shiki-san. Will you give me Slon or not?"

"….Slon is not under my jurisdiction, he's under the Awakusu-kai's. I require a good reason to hand our asset over to you."

"…."

Shizuo put his cigarette back to his lips. He leaned back, smoking slowly, then spoke.

"Because I can help you take Orihara Izaya down."

"Heiwajima-san, Orihara is our information broker –"

"Yeah I know. But I know after the Awakusu Akane incident you've been keeping close tabs on him. I know you guys need him for information, but you're not above disposing of him if he runs too wild out of your clutches. What I'm offering you is a chance to take him down, so that he will be just the Awakusu-kai's information broker, just that. And my lover, but that isn't relevant."

"…"

Shiki rested his chin on his hands, hunching slightly as he looked over to Shizuo.

"That's an interesting offer. What proof do you have?"

"Orihara Izaya manipulated Awakusu Akane."

Before Shiki could open his mouth, he continued –

"This is what happened. Akane found out that you guys were Yakuza, and that everyone feared her. She ran away from home, and you guys have been searching for her. Izaya decided to use her in his plans, and he got Namie and an imposter to take care of her. They gave her an amplified stun gun, told her I was an assassin trying to kill you guys. Because Akane still loves her family, she listened to them and attacked me. That's how I found her."

"This is where Vorona and Slon come in. And Celty. You asked her to be a bodyguard for Akane. Vorona and Slon were employed by Yodogiri to kidnap her. Akane said it was Izaya who told her I was an assassin, I left to kill him. Izaya framed me with you guys and I ran away. I ran to the top of Sunshine 60, and there I received a Dollars text. Thinking of it now, it was probably Izaya's doing. I got pissed the Dollars were kidnapping women and went to teach them a lesson."

"I told Ryuugamine I was quitting the Dollars. Shit happened, Vorona came by and stabbed me with a knife, pissing me off 'cause it reminded me of Izaya. I threw her motorbike at her, then chased her. Celty was there too. Akane must have left Shinra's after I left, for they were holding her in the compartment. I broke it open, rescued her, and left Vorona and Slon alone. After that you guys must have taught them a lesson. Vorona's working with me now since you let her off for some deal her father made, but you have Slon."

"Yodogiri is mad Izaya ruined his plan to kidnap Awakusu Akane, with me, so he stabbed Izaya, landing Izaya in the hospital. Since obviously he can't get to me. And after that it's another long story, which I think you know better than I do."

Shizuo drew a breath, inhaled and exhaled the smoke from his cigarette, then spoke.

"Izaya's smart. He sent someone in his place to speak to Akane so if in any way his plan failed, he wouldn't be recognized by her. At the same time, he still gave the name Izaya to Akane so if his plan failed, he would be expecting me who's pissed off with him to come seek him – giving him a chance to frame me with the Awakusu-kai."

"Impressive."

"Yeah I know, he's a smart little bastard –"

"Not Orihara. You."

"….Me?"

"Yes, you. Heiwajima Shizuo. To think you figured everything out before the Awakusu-kai. There was always a missing piece to the puzzle, and I'd wondered what it was. It all makes sense now."

"Not really. I just had reliable information, like from Vorona and Akane, and I put two and two together."

"The putting two and two together, or four and four is what's impressive about you. Orihara has underestimated you, indeed."

"….."

Shizuo tilted his head, as if trying to comprehend he was being complimented.

"….So you'll give me Slon?"

At this, Shiki's lips curled and he couldn't resist an amused chuckle.

"…Ha..haha…yes I'll give you Slon. But more importantly…."

He straightened, and held out a hand, his sharp eyes amused as if unable to believe he was doing such a thing himself –

"How would you like to form an alliance with us, Heiwajima Shizuo?"

 

 

 

 

 **Half an hour later**  


"Shiki-san, what's so urgent you had to call me out here and disturb my time with Akane-chan?"

In reply, Shiki jerked a thumb at the silent man behind him.

"…Heiwajima Shizuo? What's he doing here?"

"Akabayashi. Where did you and Aozaki put Slon?"

"Slon?"

"Yes. Slon. He wants Slon."

"…He wants Slon? I thought he wants Orihara Izaya!"

"….I apologize for his stupidity."

Shiki said in a deadpan voice to Shizuo, who chuckled in good humor and waved it off.

"It's fine. I sort of know this guy – Akane talked about him before. He's a good guy."

"Akane – oh yeah Heiwajima! You rescued her! Thanks a lot for that! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Akane-chan talks about you as well!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, she says you're a really good onii-chan, gentle and kind. Though she still believes you're an assassin. Haha!"

"Ah, that. Well as long as nothing bad comes out of it, I don't mind."

Akabayashi looked at him, then smiled and walked forward, patting the other man's shoulder lightly.

"You're a good lad, Heiwajima. Well I personally don't see any use for Slon, he's not a beautiful woman – pity we couldn't keep that breathtaking beauty instead! I'd have loved to dance with her more."

"But – Slon belongs to the Awakusu-kai now. Yet I see you convinced Shiki, so I'm interested too. That guy isn't easy to impress, you know? Hey hey, what did you say to him?"

Shiki, who had walked off to smoke a cigarette, scoffed rather discreetly as his lips curved into a smirk around the cigarette.

"Give it to him, Heiwajima."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A man with the built of a bodybuilder looked up when he heard the sound of a key turning in the lock.

The door opened and a blond man in a bartender suit entered the room. Knowing the destruction and violence the man could cause, his shoulders tensed.

\- Why did the Awakusu-kai let him in here?'

\- Is he going to finish me off?

"Slon –ah."

The man seemed to pause, then he went back to the door and pulled the key out of the lock, looking at it as if he was using a key for the first time.

"It's been a while since I used a key to open a door. I normally just smash them down."

"…."

The big man just stared at him as he spoke to himself, as he slid the key into his pocket then turned to him.

"Sorry, let me have a cigarette first. I had to recount the entire story to the red haired guy again and my throat's kind of dry."

"….."

Slon remained silent, but in his head were whirling thoughts.

\- ….Is this really the same guy?

\- The guy that even Vorona couldn't damage?

\- Looks the same, but doesn't seem the same.

\- And what's that about smoking a cigarette when his throat is dry?! Wouldn't a cigarette just make it worse?! They cause lung cancer!

\- Or does his body work in a different way?

\- ….I don't think even Vorona would know the answer to my question!

\- Ah what should I do? Now I'm bothered again! I should ask

– no wait I can't ask, this guy may be here to kill me. I can't let my guard down.

Oblivious to Slon's ongoing conflicting thoughts, Shizuo let out a sigh as he inhaled and exhaled smoke, then moved forward towards his kouhai's partner.

"Slon. I'm Heiwajima Shizuo, and from now on, you're going to work with me."

"Why should I listen to you?"

Shizuo took a puff of his cigarette, then lowered his sunglasses and looked the bigger man in the eye.

"Because you want to see your partner, and I can help with that."

As he waited for Slon to absorb the information, he blew another cloud of smoke and said almost as if it was an afterthought –

"And if you don't, well, I guess you're no use to me alive."

 

 

 

 

"Aozaki-san isn't going to be happy with this."

"When he hears Heiwajima Shizuo is on our side, he won't be able to object. Even he knows how strong that guy is."

Shiki said coolly. He lighted his cigarette, and spoke.

"Originally I was planning to use Slon to 'lock' Orihara anyway. So either way, Aozaki-san would have been displeased. He doesn't like that guy moving about freely."

"But now that Heiwajima is moving on his own, things have changed. Since he's going to keep an eye on Orihara, why not give him Slon whom that purpose was originally meant for? It's Heiwajima, and he'd be able to 'lock' Orihara even better than Slon can. Slon has seen that guy's strength – even he wouldn't be able to oppose him."

"And tell me, who doesn't want Heiwajima Shizuo on their side? Orihara is a fool to let him go. I would have thought he of all people would have used Heiwajima to his limits."

"Heh, you've really thought everything through, Shiki-san."

Shiki just shrugged in response to Akabayashi's words.

"I'm merely doing my job. Or rather, letting Heiwajima do it for me."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it just happened that the random day i decided to update is the same as the date i last updated, only pushed forward a year


	5. Red Herring (Part I)

 

 

 

 

 

 _"_ _A belief is a very strong thing. If you believe in something, it's real to you. If you don't, it's fake. So for something that doesn't actually exist, it all depends on the person's belief."_

_I know he'll believe it's real. Because he believes everything revolves around him._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Outside a certain debt collecting agency**

 

"Oh Shizuo, you're back!"

"Tom-san. I have something to tell you."

"Why don't you tell me later over some hamburgers? The people today will be a little of a handful."

Shizuo blinked, but smiled and said agreeably to his superior:

"Sure, Tom-san."

He then turned to his kouhai, who looked up at him curiously with blue eyes.

"Varona. I have something to show you. Meet me at the usual place later."

"….Affirmative. Shizuo-senpai."

"Oh, what's that? Something to show her? Won't you let me in on it, Shizuo? And what's this usual place – you two have been meeting up for some secret rendezvous? You sly man, Shizuo!"

Tom laughed with a grin as he clapped his kouhai's shoulder companionably. His kouhai merely smiled and replied, "No, it's nothing like that. She's just been generously helping me with some things, so I thought I'd give her a reward."

"Negative. To me, debt is to be repaid. Reward – nil. Not job, obligation. Shizuo-senpai, appreciate, but no materialism I require."

"…Materialism? Well it's not quite that…"

"Not? Interesting. Extermination then? If so, I will gladly accept the 'reward'."

Shizuo blinked, then laughed and ruffled her hair, speaking with a fond look in his eyes –

"Well, I went to a bit of trouble to get it, so it'll be good if you're happy."

"Happy. Happiness? Exultation – nil. Incapable of me to feel. Save extermination – yet bloodlust it is, I recall. But, I am grateful to Shizuo-senpai's thoughtfulness. Will appreciate."

As she said this Varona nodded as if to herself as she spoke in her polite but strange Japanese. Shizuo smiled at her.

"What are you two talking about? You two, seem to have some secret code nowadays I know nothing about!"

Before either of them could reply, Tom smiled and said:

"But it's alright. I'm glad you two are getting along well! Hey, Shizuo –"

He pulled the other man to the side, speaking in a low voice.

"You know, you two make a really great pair. If things with Izaya don't work out consider her okay? I know your type is older women, but she's quite a catch. Beauty, intelligence, strength – she's got them all. Not to mention she's not afraid of you and even admires your strength. And, she's a woman who can take care of herself. If you two get together, I'll definitely be behind your back."

Shizuo looked at him for a while, before replying.

"I appreciate the advice, Tom-san. But I'm still in love with Izaya. Even though I don't deserve him…anyway I'm sorry."

Tom met his gaze, then sighed.

"You don't need to apologize, Shizuo. I'm just concerned about you. Izaya isn't good for you – you know that. But if you really are in love with him, then well that's that."

"And what's that about you not deserving him? It's him who doesn't deserve you. It's a pity you have to give up a fine woman like Varona for a guy like him."

Tom seemed to be muttering to himself, but then he smiled and looked up at Shizuo. "Anyway, it's my bad. I guess it's because you two are my kouhai, so if you two are happy together, I'd be happy as a senpai too."

"But you and Varona make a really great pair. Even as friends. I talked to Simon for a bit, and he commented Varona seems to have more emotion when she's with you. Haha. I think she likes you quite a bit, Shizuo. He said she's a stubborn one, but she seems to listen to you. You're good for her, and she's not afraid of you, so it's good that you two are getting along well."

"Really? I'm glad then. I think sometimes I'm not a good senpai to her. She's my first kouhai, and she's a good person. Not like me, so I don't want to corrupt her –"

"Negative. Corruption impossible – purification legible. With Shizuo-senpai, one can only improve. In addition, I am already corrupted – it is me who fears corrupting Shizuo-sempai. Shizuo-senpai has not killed, unlike the beast I am –"

"Oi oi what are you talking about? Killing or not, you're a good person, your father just didn't take care of you properly that's all. Speaking of which, I wonder if it's the same with Izaya – anyway don't say things like that. I'm not as great as you think I am, and you definitely are a good person, okay? Don't forget that."

As he said this he stroked her hair comfortingly, but his mouth was in a stern line.

"…Affirmative. If Shizuo-senpai says so."

There was the slightest pink on Varona's cheeks, and a look in her blue eyes as if she was unable to believe someone had called her a good person.

Shizuo smiled at this, and patted her hair.

"Yeah, I say so. No, I know so."

"Trust in Shizuo-senpai's knowledge…and, apologies for eavesdropping. I felt the social phenomenon of 'left out' and wished to be included."

"Haha, it's okay."

"A-hahaha….sorry about that Varona….I was just talking with Shizuo about some guy stuff. We didn't mean to exclude you."

"Guy stuff….male talk…I see. Understandable, as a female, socially acceptable that I should be excluded. My misunderstanding."

"Yeah…anyway, it's great that the three of us are back together!"

Tom smiled a wide smile as he said this, and the two blonds blinked simultaneously as their senpai wrapped his arms around their shoulders in a friendly manner.

"But we better get going soon, or the Boss is going to come out and yell at us."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Hours later, somewhere in Ikebukuro**

 

"Heiwajima-san, if you're giving me false hope, then you're a cruel man. But if you really are going to let me see Varona, then you are a very kind man and I can't thank you enough. Even after I've thanked you for taking me away from the Awakusu-kai."

"Hm."

"So? Are you kind or cruel, Heiwajima-san?"

"I wouldn't say I'm kind."

"What!? Then it was all a lie?! Heiwajima-san, how cruel of you, tricking a stranger like this!"

"But I wouldn't say I'm cruel either."

"Eh? What does that mean?"

"I wasn't lying. But that doesn't mean I'm kind. I'm going to use you for bad things in the future. So you can't call me kind."

"…Woah, an honest man. You don't see that everyday. Oh don't worry. I'm sure it's better than whatever the Awakusu-kai had for me –"

Slon stilled, because he had heard light, barely audible footsteps which he would recognize anywhere.

"Shizuo-senpai –"

The footsteps stopped, and silence filled the air for a while, before the emotionless voice spoke.

"…Slon?"

"Uh. Hey…Varona. Missed me?"

Varona stared, her eyes slightly widened. She moved forward swiftly, then pulled back her fist and punched the man in the stomach.

Slon gasped, clutching his stomach as he stumbled a foot back –

"W-What was that for?! Are you angry with me?! Shit, you're as strong as ever! And hey it wasn't my fault we got captured, though it wasn't your fault either –"

"это ты."

"…Yeah it's me. What is it the Japanese say – ah yeah –"

"I'm back…Varona."

Varona just stared at him, and Slon frowned.

"What's with that emotionless response? I'm hurt! Don't I get a hug and a 'I missed you, Slon, I couldn't survive without you –' oh no wait that's out of your character. Well at least a, 'I'm glad you're back'? Or, I know! A 'Welcome back' – you know, the reply you're supposed to give me to the Japanese greeting. So – h-hey! What are you doing?!"

Varona had dropped to one knee, and bowed her head low in apology.

"…Relief. Relief, and apologies. I was spared from the fate. Not to be, not to be…."

"Fault, is mine. I was careless – I had not anticipated the men's strength. Thus you were captured, and yet I was set free…"

"As such, I must amend. To amend, Japanese commence seppuku – as will I."

As she said this, Varona drew a knife out, and Slon panicked.

"S-Seppuku?! Hey, Varona! No need, no seppuku! What use is it if I'm alive and you're dead?! Oi we're going to go back to Russia together, remember?!"

Had anyone besides them been in the isolated place, they would have found it a comical sight, the man as big as Simon of Russia Sushi waving his hands frantically as the beautiful blonde woman kneeling on the ground ignored him, seeming more interested in the weapon in her hands.

"But justice will not be served –"

"Forget about justice! Drop that knife – hey, don't you dare stab it through your stomach – V-Varona!"

A hand rested on Varona's arm as she was about to stab the knife through herself.

"Varona. I don't know what happened, but you don't need to kill yourself over guilt. Your partner's back now, and he forgives you. So put that knife away."

"….Shizuo-senpai."

"Yeah. You'll listen to your senpai, won't you?"

"…Yes."

Shizuo let go and Varona brought the knife away from herself and pocketed it as she stood up. All the while, Slon had an astonished expression on his face.

"Woah…who are you? I've never seen Varona listen to anyone like that! Heiwajima-san, you're amazing! You have to teach me how to get this woman to listen to what I say!"

"Huh? You just have to talk to her properly that's all. Varona's a smart woman, and she listens to reason."

"Yeah I know but, the way she treats me is way different than the way she treats you! Varona, I have a question!"

"What is it?"

"I have a question – and you absolutely must answer it to the best of your ability or I won't be able to sleep tonight! And you want me to sleep peacefully, don't you? So -!"

"….Is he always this noisy?"

Varona's lips curled slightly.

"Affirmative."

"Because Varona was gone – actually, it was me who was gone - anyway! Because I didn't have you to answer the many questions in my head, I was deprived of sleep for many many days! So starting from now, you must answer my questions again, starting with this one – why is the sky blue?!"

"….."

Shizuo had a deadpan expression on his face as he looked at the big man pointing dramatically at the sky.

"I've always wondered about it, and now that I'm out and seeing the sky again it came to me! Why is the sky blue?! Why is it not orange, yellow except at sunset?! Why is it not purple or brown?! Why blue of all colors?! The ocean is also blue so why can't the sky be another color?! Varona, you have to give me an answer or I will be very very very blue and I won't be able to sleep even after I've been freed!"

Now Slon was cradling his head in his hands and shaking it vigorously, while Varona looked on with an emotionless expression on her face.

"The sky is blue because blue is the shortest wavelength in white light. Alternatively, sunlight. Sunlight consists of all colors of the rainbow. Blue light waves are shorter than red light waves. Sunlight reaches Earth's atmosphere, scattered by molecules and particles in the air. Blue is scattered more than other colors because it has the shortest wave length, through the Rayleigh scattering model – the intensity of scattered light varies inversely with the fourth power of its wavelength. Oxygen and nitrogen, two main molecules in the air, are tiny compared to wavelengths of sunlight, thus they scatter the shortest wavelengths – blue and purple. Because blue light is scattered more, the sky is blue rather than red. In reality, the sky is purple, but the human eye has cones sensitive to blue rather than purple."

"….."

Shizuo stared for a while, in contrast to Slon who continued on with his rambling.

"Oh Varona, your knowledge is just precious! Now I can sleep and won't be blue! But oh wait! You still haven't answered why the sky changes color at sunset! Now I'm troubled again! You must help me, Varona! Or I might think the red of the sky at sunset is like the revenge of the blood of my victims!"

In response to Slon's nonsense, Varona kept her usual expression without missing a beat.

"Sunset. During such, light takes a longer path to our eyes, as sun no longer overhead and is further away. Longer path, more scattering of blue and scattering takes place before light reaches us. Too much scattering, yet too much time to reach humans' eyes. Blue lost, thus we see red. Especially in urban areas, clouds magnify the sky glow effect by reflecting more artificial light back down to Earth. Shorter wavelengths of artificial light scattered more easily on clear nights, thus some night skies appear red."

"Ah, I see I see! No wonder the night sky looks red sometimes! Now I can definitely sleep peacefully without worrying a meteor is going to fall onto Earth!"

Slon said gleefully, as meanwhile Shizuo blinked and said:

"Not only do you know 'bout Olympic and Nobel Prize medals you know about a thing like the sky too. That's really amazing, Varona. You're really smart."

Shizuo smiled as he said this, but Varona didn't seem to see the reason for such praise.

"Negative. Such information is merely knowledge from books. Requires no mental working."

Shizuo just chuckled and directed his purple tinted gaze to the sky.

"Such a thing like why the sky is blue…I never thought much about it. Simple things can have complicated reasons too huh?"

He said in a sort of wistful manner, as Varona nodded in agreement.

"Affirmative. Reason lies behind everything."

"Except love."

"…That I cannot say, as I lack experience. However, love has been deemed illogical."

"….."

Shizuo lowered his gaze from the sky. He smiled wryly and said simply.

"Yeah. Illogical. Love has no reason at all. I guess it just happens."

"Woah, you seem like a romanticist, Heiwajima-san! How surprising! So, so? Is there a secret love in your heart?"

"Yeah there is."

"What really? What's she like? I bet for a guy like Heiwajima-san, she must be really beautiful to capture your heart right? Hey is she even more beautiful than Varona maybe?"

"Of course – I deserve no compliment for beauty –"

"Yeah right – not! Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, Varona? And wait if you say you're not beautiful, wouldn't it be an insult to other women who are less beautiful than you? Those poor women! Think of those poor women, Varona!"

"…Affirmative. In that case, to preserve justice, I shall accept my perceived beauty."

"…Right. Anyway, Heiwajima-san! How beautiful is she?"

"…Beauty huh. Beautiful, and now that I think about it, eyes are simply captivating. Their hair…is really soft, it slides through my fingers like silk. When I'm allowed to do so, their body is perfect for me to hold and I want to do so forever, so that they can't escape like always. Their skin is smooth, and they're very intelligent. But tricky. They always speak in the same confident tone…but when there's something bothering them, they don't meet my eyes. They're not used to relying on people…and it makes me kind of sad."

"They're lonely, I can tell. No one has stayed with them before. If I can, I want to stay beside them and protect them. Yet I can't. But as long as they're safe…I'm happy. It pains me to hurt them, and someone like me…I know I don't deserve them at all, but I want them…so damn bad. And for that, I will be patient for I've waited long enough, I just have to wait for a little longer."

Shizuo smiled bitterly to himself as he spoke, his gaze on the blue sky.

"Because they're worth it. They accepted me, even though they're just a normal human and not a monster like me. I just recently figured out I'm in love…yet these feelings…it feels as if I've been in love with them since forever. And maybe I have. I don't really know. I'm not good with feelings. What matters to me is I'm in love, that even a monster like me can love….like a normal human."

 

There was silence after Shizuo's expression of his sincere feelings. Shizuo turned his gaze back to Slon and Varona.

"…Ah sorry. I got carried away."

He said, as if he had been speaking his thoughts out loud rather than to the two assassins, as if he had been contemplating out loud the thoughts in his heart, of why he had fallen in love with such a person.

"It's alright, Heiwajima-san. You're really in love, huh? Heiwajima-san is a good man, she must be a really lucky woman!"

"Affirmative, Shizuo-senpai deserves his love; to think otherwise, would be illogical, yet I see love is illogical…."

"Is that so? Still, it's kind of embarrassing…."

Shizuo said as if he had only just begun to feel embarrassed at speaking the thoughts of his heart out, and he turned his face slightly away.

"Sincerity has no reason for embarrassment, Shizuo-senpai. In addition, allow me to express gratitude for the 'gift' – Shizuo-senpai is correct; I appreciate. Very much."

As she said this Varona gave a sincere, deep bow towards Shizuo, meeting his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"This life holds importance. Yet it was to be sacrificed for my debt – for paying back my debt to them, Shizuo-senpai, I am in your debt."

She said, for her spirits were lifted by Shizuo's deed. He had rectified her mistake and carelessness for her, and her moment of weakness seemed like a faraway dream as she swore to not underestimate her opponents again with her regained strength.

 

 

Shizuo could have never known the effect of bringing Slon back alive would have on Varona, who though had picked herself back up and sought to be stronger, had always held a regret in her heart for her moment of weakness which could cost the life of her partner, whom she was powerless to save. He had just gotten Slon back for her as a 'gift', so she could be happy, and it was indeed a gift she appreciated from the bottom of her heart.

The gift of moving on from the past, remembering her weakness and breakdown, and resolution towards a future, stronger her.

Varona knew Shizuo would never understand, for he was not her, and he also seemed oblivious and unaware of things happening around him, always seeming in a half-distracted state, as if he stood half in reality, half in his own mind. It was not as if he didn't appreciate his surroundings, he merely seemed to be eternally preoccupied with something unknown to others.

The only one who had been able to shake him out of that peaceful, yet dreamy state was Orihara Izaya. The man whom she had heard Shizuo term as _'the flea'_ seemed to be the only one who could capture Shizuo's attention. Even the debtors they encountered would piss Heiwajima Shizuo off, and he would give them his full attention – of anger, yet after the violence was unleashed, he would revert back to his calm state.

Unlike how a mere mention of Orihara Izaya could send all of Shizuo's senses on full alert, his muscles all tensed, and his eyes flashing as the blood pumped wildly around his indestructible body.

And as she looked at the man who had declared and spoken of his love for Orihara Izaya, Varona wondered about the difference in attention he paid to Izaya, and other people.

For though Shizuo had spoken wistfully, his eyes had been looking at something only he could see, and until then, Varona had not known Heiwajima Shizuo, the strange but quiet and peaceful guy who thought other people were more amazing than his own legend, could pay such attention in such detail to someone, could speak so much without being prompted, could want, desire something in his life so much –

That he would do everything and anything in his power to get it.

 

 

  
"W-What? What? What are you guys talking about? But speaking of debt, Heiwajima-san, I am definitely in your debt as well. Please feel free to use my services however you wish."

Slon said, his tone changing at the end, to a more serious one as he too lowered his head towards Shizuo in a Japanese bow, his speech changing to respectful Japanese.

"…Don't be like that, both of you. Stand up, it's not a big deal. Though Varona, it's good that you're happy."

Shizuo said with a smile, and as Varona and Slon exchanged glances and straightened, he continued with words even Varona with all her analysis and observations of Heiwajima Shizuo had never expected to hear -

"Because I'm leaving Ikebukuro."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**An hour earlier, in a fast food restaurant somewhere in Ikebukuro**

 

"You know, there's one good thing that's come out of your love for Izaya."

Tom commented casually as he took a bite of hamburger, and Shizuo looked at him over his drink.

"What is it?"

"Your temper. It's almost gone now! I know you've been trying to control yourself for him, and that's good. Well for Ikebukuro at least! There's less property destruction and all, but the debtors are still scared of you and they pay up."

"Oh that. I sincerely apologize for causing you so much trouble."

"Eh, it's fine. After all, without Izaya pissing you off, you're quite a peaceful man, aren't you, Shizuo? Haha, that's what your name says after all!"

Shizuo smiled as Tom grinned at him. The older man picked up a fry and munched on it.

"So, what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"….."

Shizuo removed his sunglasses and looked at Tom for a moment, as if considering how to say what he had to say.

Then, spreading his hands and putting them on the table, he leaned forward and bowed his head deeply.

"Tom-san. Until now, thank you very much for taking care of me, for giving me a job and allowing me to make an honest living. I'm very grateful for that, and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused."

"What? No it's okay – it's nothing –"

Tom stopped short, as if just realizing Shizuo's humble posture and how he had spoken in polite, formal Japanese.

"What's this about….?"

Shizuo lowered his head further as if ashamed of himself, but spoke –

"I am very sorry, Tom-san. But I can't continue this job any further."

"Why? What the hell, Shizuo?! What's with this all of a sudden – and wait what about Varona –"

Shizuo raised his gaze, and the look in his eyes silenced Tom. He opened and closed his mouth, then sighed, a hand to his forehead.

"…It's about Izaya, isn't it?"

"I'm very sorry. I understand if you're angry with me. Please don't hold back."

Seeing Shizuo in such a humble state, willing to accept everything Tom wanted to throw at him, Tom felt his anger drain away. He sighed again and glanced at his kouhai.

"Tell me more."

"Yes. I'm leaving Ikebukuro."

Tom was glad he had not taken a sip of his drink, or he would have choked. He stared incredulously at Shizuo.

"What?!"

"I'm leaving Ikebukuro."

"Are – you going to live with Izaya? In Shinjuku?"

"No. We don't have that kind of relationship yet. I'm leaving Ikebukuro for personal reasons. I'm sorry I can't reveal them to you. I trust you deeply Tom-san, but this is something I have to handle myself."

"…Can't I help in any way?"

"No. Please don't. I have troubled you too much, and I wouldn't want to involve you in this."

"….This has something to do with Izaya, doesn't it."

"Yes."

Tom inhaled deeply, then raised his gaze to meet Shizuo's eyes.

"Right. First, stop using keigo with me. I appreciate the respect, but I'd rather you just tell me directly and honestly. Second, does Varona know?"

"Yes – I mean, yeah. Varona knows. She will not be coming with me, she will stay with you. So please be reassured – I mean, don't worry. And we won't lose contact, if that's what you're worried about. We'll still be friends."

Tom said nothing. Shizuo glanced up at him, then lowered his gaze.

"Tom-san. I'm very sorry. But this is something I have to do. It's alright to release your feelings, to be angry."

"…How can I?"

"No really, I won't mind –"

Tom chuckled, cutting Shizuo off.

"…Tom-san?"

"Raise your head, Shizuo."

Shizuo lifted his head, but kept his hands on the table.

"You have that look in your eyes."

"?"

Tom smiled at him at his questioning look.

"That look in your eyes. That says you won't listen to what anyone will say, no matter who they are. That look in your eyes, it was always there when you were pissed at Izaya and wanted to kill him."

"You have that same look now. I know even I can't stop you. No one can. And I'm not going to be the one to taint your resolution. Shizuo. I won't get in the way of your love."

"Tom-san."

"No need to apologize. Just don't do anything you'll regret okay? Even if it's Izaya, I'm glad you've finally found someone to love, someone you're willing to do anything for."

"…Yeah. Tom-san is too kind. Thank you for your understanding."

Shizuo finally removed his hands from the table. He was smiling now, not the polite smile he had had on, but a genuine smile which lit up his eyes unhidden by his sunglasses.

"Please allow – no, let me pay for the bill. I owe you that much at least."

"Sure, go ahead. Come visit Ikebukuro sometime, yeah? Hopefully I'll see you around, Shizuo."

"Yeah. I will."

Shizuo said as he placed a wad of bills on the table in front of Tom. He then kept his wallet, put his sunglasses back on, and nodded to his friend and superior.

"Then, I'm going. I've already given manager my resignation letter. And, please don't worry about the money and the debts I've incurred from my destruction of public property... my brother insisted to pay manager for me."

"Your brother – Hanejima Yuuhei right? He's paying manager for you?"

"Yeah. I really didn't want him to, but he said he makes more than enough money from acting and being a celebrity. He also said he felt guilty…since I was the one who was scouted for acting but I beat up the talent scout and he got the job. And he said, if I want to quit my job, I shouldn't leave behind any debts, even if I'm not a debt collector anymore."

"Haha…when he says it like that, I can't really reject him, even though I feel bad. I tried to…but he already paid manager anyway. When I said I was quitting my job, he called me to tell me so. Even before I told manager I was quitting."

He turned, and waved a hand with a fond smile.

"See you around sometime, Tom-san."

"Yeah…."

Tom watched as Shizuo walked away. He hesitated slightly, then called out.

"Shizuo!"

The man in a bartender suit turned his head, and Tom spoke with a sheepish grin.

"Even if you ditch the bartender suit, keep your blond hair, yeah? It suits you."

Shizuo blinked. He lifted a hand to finger a blond strand, as if noticing he was blond for the first time, then nodded with a smile.

"Sure I will. I've had it for so long, since you told me to dye my hair to keep those bastards away. I don't think anyone would recognize me without it anyway."

He laughed to himself, then gave a brighter grin and raised a relaxed hand.

"See you, Tom-san. Thanks for everything."

"Anytime, Shizuo."

He watched the man in a bartender suit's retreating back, hoping it wouldn't be the last time he saw the man who had been under his charge for so long. He let a long drawn out sigh, smiling wryly.

"Resigning and then coming to do the job he already resigned from…he's a funny fellow."

"And, he sure moves fast."

He finished his hamburger and drink alone, then stood up, grabbing the money and pocketing it. He walked out of the fast food restaurant, vaguely noticing but not caring about the whispers and murmurs.

The man with dreadlocks looked up into the sky. He produced a lighter and cigarette, and smoked calmly as he murmured, nostalgia filling him as he thought of the past, of the boy with an uncontrollable temper and scarred heart he had met, all those years ago.

"…he's grown up, that Shizuo."

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
